Velociman must be feeling indestructible.  I'm not quite sure exactly what was in that moonshine at the Blogfest, but it's turned him into some sort of Nicholson-Joker self-destructive psychopath, daring God to strike him down:

I've always wanted to taste this most English of comestibles. A yeast byproduct, I believe, and something one either loves or hates. Like grits. Or scrapple.

Well, the lovely Christina is bringing some back for the V-hovel from England. Bless her.

I'm going to have a tasting, if anyone is interested. Of the Marmite, fools.

I'm thinking a consistency somewhere between peanut butter and apple butter, with the flavor of a well-worn tie-rod end. If I'm lucky.

I had to eat Marmite's bastard cousin, Vegemite, for four straight months while travelling in Australia.  Just because they don't have peanuts down there, they scrape the bottoms of the giant brass brewery-urns out, and put it in jars and call it breakfast.  A well-worn tie-rod would taste downright subtle next to this filth.  Think chewing on Claude Akins' fungus-lined toenails, licking out the crusty old toejam, then washing it all down with a can of flat Schlitz that has cigarette butts floating around in it; that's pretty close.

Get the man some peanut butter.

Hymen, meet Prom Night.

It just hit me what an absolutely disgusting name that is for a religious holiday: Maria Himmelfahrt (August 15).  It sounds like a fake name mischievous youngsters would give to a substitute teacher in Catholic school: "Has anyone seen the Himmelfahrt twins, Maria and Christi?" Christi Himmelfahrt, by the way, is May 20.  Mark your calendars.

For all his faults, and there are few, Jim Goad knows the ladies:

in my endless locker-room sojourns where the conversations invariably become gritty and depraved, I've never encountered another male who confided to me that he fantasizes about committing rape. Not once.

It's absolutely true.  Rape doesn't excite men, it scares them.  It sounds too much like work to be erotic.  Maybe that's why women, even worldly, educated, intelligent women like Key, think rape scenarios would make good porn:

Rugged-looking character hangs out in the alley admiring the view which is being openly flaunted for him. Tension builds. Eventually, she throws her apartment key into the street before turning her back and disappearing from sight. He tears in, throws her against the wall, shows no mercy, she gasps, she devours, she claws...and in the end SCREAMS...

I would quote more, but I just couldn't stomach it.  In their hearts, women are brutal, vicious, sexual deviants, driven to heights of ecstasy by the smell of fear and the sight of blood.  A woman can't watch two or more attractive, professionally-upholstered people having good ol' consensual butt-sex  in a swimming pool; it can't keep their interest.  They want the violence, the fear. They need it to get their disgusting sexual juices humors flowing. 

Perverts.

Acidman, of Gut Rumbles, ruminates a bit on English words that sound dirty, but ain't.  A lot of that comes from the fact that English is a bastard language.  It's a language with many possible fathers, none of which will claim it as their own.  Its closest linguistic relative, Dutch, is completely unrecognizable as such.  Dutch more resembles a sort of cartoon German than English.  Therefore, words with sexual meanings often sound similar to words that have nothing to do with sex that came into English along different routes.

German, on the other hand, is a much purer language than English.  Germans, historically, have done the conquering, and thereby have spread their language's elements among other European cultures, instead of the other way around.  Nevertheless, German has many words that are completely innocuous, yet sound "dirty" to English speakers.  Here are common examples, with the English translations of what they actually mean:

Ausfahrt - Exit
Nebenhöhlen - Sinus Cavities
Analverkehr - Traffic Jam
Gummifetischist - Librarian
Pudelficker - Lion Tamer
Fick mich hart, du dreckiges Stück Scheisse! - Beer glass

 As you can see, even the most innocent expressions can sometimes bring on an immature giggle.