Evil Conservative, who I must add to my links because he's a total hoot, has found an absolute classic.

The whole we're sorry thing pisses me off for so many reasons.  It's fine that they do it, I mean, nobody takes it seriously, but living over here makes me more sensitive to crap like that.  C'mon, folks, show a little spine!  Europeans don't like Americans, they never have, and they certainly won't like you any more just because you make a frownie-face and a little sign that says, "yeah, America sucks, but I'm different, see?"

Nobody likes a sycophant; do what your conscience tells you, not what you think will make people like you more.  Didn't they teach y'all this stuff in Sunday School?

People in Europe like to talk on and on about things in America. Germans in particular are egregious knuckleheads when it comes to anti-Americanism.  Michael Moore is God here.  It's really quite easy to be God in Germany, it seems.  You just have to scream louder than the rest of the people, and compare everybody to Hitler.  Germans apparently have some inside track in recognizing the next Hitler.  Well, they should.

The entire country is full of moonbat lefties.  Even the conservatives here are moonbat lefties.  People who seem perfectly normal are just barking mad once you talk politics with them.  For example, no one talks about German politics.  The economy sucks over here.  I mean, it really sucks.  I'm homeless at the moment, as is a good friend of mine in Hamburg.  My colleagues, all of them intelligent, talented people in diverse fields, are to the man being hounded by the Finanzamt, the German equivalent of the IRS for money that just isn't there.  I've got them on my ass, too.  Nobody has any money, there's no work to go around, and there are beggars in the streets, kneeling on every street corner in the bitter cold with plastic cups out, silently waiting for you to bump them a euro.  It's heavy at the moment.  But still, Der Spiegel, Germany's leading news magazine, has cover stories devoted  almost exclusively to American politics.  There seems to be an unspoken rule at the the moment that it's best just not to talk about German affairs.  Nobody wants to read about paying $4 per gallon for gas.  Nobody wants to think about the government taking 80% of your paycheck in income tax, value-added tax, solidarity tax, eco-tax, heating-tax, and force-fed health insurance. 

Real-life Nazis are winning seats in the Bundestag Landtag* in eastern Germany, and an increasingly bitter, impoverished public is getting sick and tired of kissing bureaucrat ass.  Eventually, they are going to start listening to these master-racist retards and start annexing things again.  And morons like Johannes should really start worrying about the direction Europe is headed, instead of criticizing things they are incapable of understanding.

*-corrected by commenter Doug. For an overview of the German government's structure, looky here.

Wednesday, I was in bed with a voluptuous, naked woman and a tumbler of 18-year old scotch, and I had my laptop open reading election reports. I remember thinking to myself, thank God I have wireless.

When, exactly, do you admit to yourself you have a problem?

So, this is what life is like after the Election. I think I'm having some sort of post-partem depression. Maybe I've got empty-nest syndrome, now that George doesn't need me anymore. He's all grown up now, I know. Still, wouldn't kill him to call me every now and then and see how it's going.

Hmph. Kerry would've called.

So, it's looking good for Bush folks everywhere.  I'm cautiously optimistic that this time next year, our long-planned Project Radioactive Earth will finally have come to fruition.  If we learned anything from the 2000 election, it's that disenfranchisement works.

Overheard on German talk radio this morning:

Announcer: I figure most of you choked  on your breakfast pretzels this morning when you read the news that, amazingly, Bush was re-elected.  So, our question today is, are you happy with the election results?

Caller 1: When I read the newspaper this morning, I became physically ill.  How could the Americans do this to us?  To the world?!

Caller 2:  I don't know what the last caller was thinking.  I'm extremely pleased with the election results.  People in Europe have to learn that Americans will always do what they perceive to be the right thing, no matter what the Germans or the French think.  They believe that actions speak louder than words, and  so far, all the action has come from the United States.  The rest of the world would rather sit around and talk about [terrorism].

Caller 3: I'm very impressed with the Americans. It should now become clear to German politicians that they will have more success if they concentrate on German politics than if they continue to obsess on the Americans. 

So, the world was watching, as John Kerry warned.  And from what I've heard, they may have even learned something.  There was an 'expert on American politics' on the show as color commentator.  His take was that the over-simplification of the election by European pundits has really created a psychological rift between the Europeans and the Americans, and that the Europeans are on the wrong side of it. 

It was also very interesting watching the coverage on television last night. They had people in Washington, D.C. having a little Kerry love-in.  They had some old fruit talking who was rouged up like a two-dollar whore, spouting Mooreian inanities about Bush and Halliburton.  The moderator just sat there and nodded sadly to everything he said.  They then had the self-same expert who was on the radio this morning on, and he basically tore the guy a new one.  The untouchable Michael Moore was roundly spanked, which is not a pretty mental picture, I don't care what kind of fetishes you have.

So, if this election does indeed go to Bush, it may have a uniting effect.  I find it much more likely that the US and Europe would come together on the US's terms than it would with an apologetic Kerry administration crawling to the UN, begging for forgiveness.

So, that's my serious commentary; we now continue with with our regularly scheduled sick little drawings and vagina references.