Evil Conservative, who I must add to my links because he's a total hoot, has found an absolute classic.

The whole we're sorry thing pisses me off for so many reasons.  It's fine that they do it, I mean, nobody takes it seriously, but living over here makes me more sensitive to crap like that.  C'mon, folks, show a little spine!  Europeans don't like Americans, they never have, and they certainly won't like you any more just because you make a frownie-face and a little sign that says, "yeah, America sucks, but I'm different, see?"

Nobody likes a sycophant; do what your conscience tells you, not what you think will make people like you more.  Didn't they teach y'all this stuff in Sunday School?

johnny say:

I give my woman half my money at the general store I said, "Now buy a little groceries, and don't spend no more." But she gave ten dollars for a ten cent hat, And bought some store bought cat food for that mean-eyed cat.

When I give her ten more dollars for a one way ticket, she was mad as she could be. Then I bet ten more that if she ever left she'd come a-crawlin' back to me.

When I woke up this mornin' and I turned my head, there wasn't a cotton pickin' thing on her side of the bed. I found a little old note where her head belonged It said, "Dear John, honey, baby, I'm long gone."