He who giveth up smoking, doth reduce the risk of heavye sickness, aye.

This thing's a monster, with winds up to 195 MPH (312 KM/H); and it's going to flatten Bermuda shortly. I don't know if the scale on the map is right, but it seems to be bigger than the state of Georgia. Dang, that's quite a storm.

My mom was in Miami for the cleanup after hurricane Andrew, which I think was also a category 5 hurricane, but not quite as big as this one. Andrew was such a spectactular storm, that they actually sold videos of it after it was all over. When I went down there, there were still thousands of people living in shelters, and it was 6 months after the fact.

I hope it peters out before it reaches Florida. With that size, it'll stay at tropical storm status all the way through Kentucky (note: I have absolutely no meteorological experience whatsoever. It could be that this is all way overrated. I'm gullible and pessimistic.)

NOTE: hur·ri·cane ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hûr-kn, hr-) n. 1. A severe tropical cyclone originating in the equatorial regions of the Atlantic Ocean or Caribbean Sea or eastern regions of the Pacific Ocean, traveling north, northwest, or northeast from its point of origin, and usually involving heavy rains.
[from Dictionary.com/hurricane]

Johnny Cash died overnight in America.

I'm a big Johnny Cash fan. One of my first LPs was an old double-album of his cowboy songs, and I've still got it. One multi-faceted, intelligent, sophisticated performer who never compromised.

I saw him live back in 1998. He was sick then, too, and I didn't think he'd be lasting another 5 years. I'm glad he got 2 more albums out since then, though, and I hope people will listen to his music for years to come.

This has got to be the goofiest spam I've ever gotten:

"GOT YOU" If you were dumb enough to open this email then you will find a WORM has executed itself through your mailbox and by the time you read this into your hard-drive. This is PAYBACK for the Virus you disguised in the email you sent to us recently which destroyed our hard-drive and back-up system. This costs us thousands of dollars and we lost a lot of irreplaceable files on our system.

It's all LIES! DAMNED LIES, I SAY! I sent nothing. I can't really figure out what they want from me, but I'm glad they think I'm such a hero that I took out their hard drive and backup system with an ingeniously disguised virus.

Teaches 'em a lesson about using Windows as your server. What are you doing reading email on your server, anyway? Loser.

When an american sees something on the ground, he picks it up and throws it.

A european kicks it.

When an american has a stick in his hand, he hits something with it.

A european throws it for his dog.

There is a special skill set that belongs to americans. I know this, because I was at baseball practice in Germany tonight. It's not genetically specific, it's just a matter of habit.

I've heard, and to a lesser extent experienced, that when you catch a fly ball, you solve over 50 differential equations. You must place your glove in the exact spot that a ball, spinning 1000 times per minute and travelling at 90 feet per second, will land that starts its journey 250 feet away from you at, often enough, a random azimuth.

You do all of this with fuzzy logic.

Here's fuzzy logic: Ball (with bat): Ping

You: Shit, I'm not even close to where that thing is going to land. I shall run in the rough direction that ball is headed.

Ball: Whoosh.

You: Correction; I shall veer a little to the left in order to intercept that ball's course in relation to my own.

Ball: Falling...

You: Shit, I'm about 3.1 meters away from the ball, which shall hit the ground and make me look like an ass.

Ball: Ha! I shall win this contest between object reality and man!

You: The hell you will! I shall dive and catch the ball, proving once and for all that man is superior to inert horsehair and cowhide, and thereby receive the affirmation of my peers!

You dive. Perhaps you catch the ball, and if so, good on ya, mate.

The point is, you tried to catch the ball. It was important to you. It was a brief juxtaposition of wills, yours against the batters against the pitchers. There's nothing more rewarding than catching a fly ball that should've been a hit off a pitch that should'Ve been a strikeout. It's the human drama, cubed.

I love baseball. But there's an assumption that goes along with baseball that escapes some people. It's like the assumption among ice hockey players that everyone can skate. Catching a ball isn't easy. But, with enough practice, it's the most trivial thing in the world, like ice skating. Hitting a ball is just as hard, and also just as easy: Just leave the bat on your shoulder, wait for the pitch, and then just...hate the ball. The ball comes at you, threatening you and your family. The ball is your enemy at this moment, and you need it as far away as possible. Don't think about leaving your hands back, or rotating your hips at the right moment. These things will fall into place as soon as you accept that you have an aluminum club in your hands and there's a baseball in front of you that's bent on world domination. This ball is a terrorist, and needs to be taught a lesson or two. Stay relaxed, confident. Let the bat sit on your shoulder, level and potent. Keep your eye on the ball as it comes toward you, tighten your grip, and then with speed, speed, speed, let the ball meet Mr. Bat. Swing through the ball as if it wasn't even your target.

When you hit a ball on the 'sweet spot' of the bat, you don't even feel that you've hit it. You just get the satisfaction of the sound (ping!), and the second or two to watch the ball fly, repentant, to the outfielders who will outsmart it just as I've outlined it before. It's the genius of the game, as complex as science in its simplicity. It's the minimalistic beauty that turns the smearing of filth on a piece of cloth into The Last Supper, or the Mona Lisa.

It is truth, and beauty, and it is as much an american value as the Garden of Earthly Delight is a Dutch Masterpiece. It is the culmination, the satisfaction of a million thoughts that you've performed so often they become as language. A laugh, a joke, an exclamation. These are human things, and the best of things.

God, I love baseball.

From the mentally challenged Sariah:

What do you get from spreading hate? You are no better than any murderer, killer, rapist or whatever under ANY religion. Because they all had HATE in their hearts and chose to spread it.

Are you insane? Sorry, but murdering and raping is still worse than mocking religious fundamentalists and theocrats. Your rhetoric is childish, and your ideas under-developed. You probably watch too much television. You are a religious nut-case.

There. Is that as bad as raping and killing someone? Let go of your black-and-white worldview. That is actually much more dangerous than spreading nasty, wicked, negative thoughts over a blog that nobody reads anyway.

It's all true. If you're look for hot, naughty Nazi-on-Nazi action, look no further than The Pink Swastika.

Excerpt:

At the door of the Bratwurstgloeckl, a tavern frequented by homosexual roughnecks and bully-boys, Roehm turned in and joined the handful of sexual deviants and occultists who were celebrating the success of a new campaign of terror. Their organization, once known as the German Workers Party, was now called the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei, The National Socialist German Workers Party the Nazis.

Frightening. Startling. Strangely, damningly arousing.

(Found via jimgoad.com)

Glamour and festiveness have, indeed, been missing lateley from the lethargic european political scene. But our buddies Black Jaques Chirac and Gerhard "Piano Man" Schrder are party kind of guys.

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder, left, and French President Jaques Chirac, right, enjoy a beer on their way to a bilateral summit in Dresden

Ok, so drinking a beer on the way to a meeting is certainly acceptable. What went on the rest of the day? Let's see!

French President Jacques Chirac and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder (R) exchange a handshake in front of the famous Dresden castle Zwinger

Hmm. Ok, more photo-ops. Nothing unusual. But that sure is a funny salute that guard's giving in the background, isn't it?

French President Jacques Chirac (front L) and French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin (front R) meet with German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder (rear L) and German Foreign Minister Joschka Fischer

Ok, now we're getting down to business. A meeting in which they accomplished nothing, except agreeing to block a UN resolution or two. Now, notice that Chirac is looking for the waitress, and Schrder is lustfully eyeing Dominique de Villepin (who is a man).

...and after the meeting?

French president Jacques Chirac and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder (L) enjoy a beer in a street bar in the eastern town of Dresden, after their for informal talks about the situation in Iraq and in the middle-East, and the future European constitution

Whew! It's Miller Time! Look at the EYES, kids. These ol' boys are hammered. Blotto. 'Faced. And so, the evening winds down, and what's the normal ending for a night out drinking with europeans?

French president Jaques Chirac and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder (L) argue venomously over the tip they should leave the waitress. The next day, Chancellor Schroeder formally apologized for calling Chirac an 'Effeminate lowlife tightwad frog-eating surrender-monkey'

Well, politics as usual here at the be EU!

UPDATE: Fixed links and various misspellings of 'Jaques Chirac' and 'Gerhard'

Ah, Leni Riefenstahl died.

That's too bad. I hear Arafat's looking for a publicist.

The Lemon presents: A European Travel Guide

Fine Cuisine

Go. Read.

Politicians call for children's vote

I'm not sure who would actually benefit from this, but I think that the Teletubby campaign commercials would be cool.

[Deutsche Welle: Germany]

But the Imams say that it is right.

Her man, her life, her love, strapped a bomb to his chest and climbed aboard a bus full of old women and children. He blew himself up, and took the futures and pasts of others with him. This is good, in the eyes of the mosque. This is how a war is supposed to be fought. Put the children and mothers of the enemy in your sights, and pull the trigger. And kill yourself. For in heaven, you will be awarded sexual pleasures beyond imagining.

What about me? she thought. Is my husband enjoying virgins in heaven, waiting for me with love? Where is the devotion, where is the decency in this? Am I to believe the Imam, that this is what it means to be muslim? That my husband chose to live in paradise with his sexual slaves, instead of staying here with his wife, and his children? Is this the culmination of 10 years of marriage and 15 years of higher learning, Arab-style?

I will take my hate, my disapointment, and my feelings of betrayal to pen. I will divide them 95 ways. I will nail them to the door of the Kaaba in Mecca. That is all she must do. She can save a fifth of the world. But she won't. She will take those parts of the truth that bring her respect. And she will cow down to the hatred that has gripped her world. She will accept the deaths of infants and old women, of stone-age sociology and primitive sexual superstitions, she will enjoy her role as widow and slave. She has no pride, no ambition, no energy. She will bring her children up to aspirations of martyrdom. That is all these people understand.

There will be no reformation.

Maybe she poisoned my beer with some sort of invisibility drug that's just come out on the market. I'm sure I'm just overreacting; I'm sure she's just got a lot going on. As if I give a flying fuck. In our relationship, at least, she doesn't have fuck-all to do outside of bringing me a goddamn beer at least once a motherfucking hour. How would that be, eh honey? That would be fucking spiffy, eh?

Goddamn, I wish I had a fucking watch sometimes. She finally showed up, then asked if I wanted a beer. Then acted fucking irritated when I said yes. What a fucking cunt. She has earned no tip. But, in order to break the cycle of Bad Tip/Bad Service madness, I'll give her a tip. Throwing her an undeserved bone, as it were. Hopefully, she won't misinterpret it as joy of being ignored on my part. I don't really see how she could. But, sometimes, people's capacity for self-delusion is nothing short of stunning.

Lordy, my anger's gone. That's a good thing, isn't it? Usually, I would say. Probably depends on the cause. Well, tonight, there's no more worrying about right or wrong, good or evil. I'm going to finish my beer, go home, and watch a movie. Enjoying the heat, I'll drink beer, thrill to explosions, watch the cars go by, smoke cigarettes, and ocasionally enjoy the electric sensation of too-vivid memories that spring at me from behind the sofa.

Good night.

Since some people seem to doubt the legitimacy and good taste of the fine people at HotOrNot, here's a little something to put a spring in your step:

Take THAT, O! ye doubters. The observant among you will no doubt realize that my score is going UP as time wears on, and the statistical sample grows larger.

There is an underlying philosophical experiment I'm performing here. In a few weeks, I'll upload a picture of myself sober and happy, and see how the voyeurs at HotOrNot rate it. The point is, people love to see men who are drunk and/or depressed, and absolutely despise the sight of a happy, sober, emotionally successful man. Of course, the last picture I have of myself in THAT dreadful condition is my high school graduation photo.

Damn.

I'm not a prude. Not at all, in fact. I respect people's sexuality, and have my own dirty, nasty one to deal with. So no, prude isn't the right word.

I flew back into Germany from the States on Saturday. That morning and afternoon was spent adjusting to the weather, which is somehow hotter than Georgia right now, and relaxing my way into time zone. A beautiful morning at a local cafe with a big-ass beer and a couple of friends, that's the way to do it.

Sunday morning, however, I found it difficult to relax at all. My roommate and his girlfriend invited me to go the lake with them for a nice little swim. It looked to be a hot one, and I'd been worrying that I wasn't getting out enough, so I agreed. So, we drive to the lake and get ready for sun and relaxation. My first clue that it wasn't going to be a good day came pretty early. We were walking into the lake area, on a path curving into the woods. We came around a corner, and there stood, as if from some weird greek legend, three 70+ year old women playing Bocce and cackling madly. Butt naked, I might add.

Great, I think to myself. Just great. My first day back from the US and I'm at a nude beach. Nude beaches sound great in concept. Total freedom for all who want it. Nakedness and fresh air in a non-sexual context. But I'm just not into being naked. In fact, I'm never naked. Never have been.

They wave to us as we walk by, and I wave back, fearing that I may never again in my life acheive an erection. We finally got to the lake, and it was surrounded by naked germans of all ages. It really is amazing that you can get that many naked people in one place without having any attractive ones. They probably are attractive in certain contexts. It's really all about context.

We searched out a spot the others liked. I didn't particularly like it, as you could still see naked people frolicking. I stripped to my oversized swim trunks and lay on my towel, staring really really hard at the ground immediately in front of me. I have no idea what my roommate and his girlfriend did; I wasn't about to get curious about it, either. I took out my sketchpad and started drawing. Staring intently at the paper, and therefore in no way at the many naked men around me, I figured that I and my reputation as a virile, studly, and most of all heterosexual casanova were safe. Then my light was blocked.

Standing over me was some naked 6 year old, screaming 'Mom! Look how good he can draw!' Reflexively, I looked up to see this naked family of four, son daughter husband wife, naked as jaybirds and bending over me to see my drawing, which was titled, innocently enough, '#8: Never Play Baseball With a Naked Man'. It was my planned response should my roommate return and want to throw the baseball around as we'd discussed earlier.

Feeling increasingly uncomfortable about the whole situation, I put my sandals back on and decided to go for a walk in the woods. There were plenty of paths to explore, and I figured it would get me away from the degenerates for an hour or two. I found a beautiful, secluded nature trail, winding through tall woods around secluded creeks and glens. I found a particularly peaceful clearing and stopped there, lighting a cigarette and breathing the humid, clean air of the forest. Then a naked man came out from behind a tree, said "Mornin'", and walked off down the trail. I wept.

"All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers." Orison Swett Marden

So there...

Not all of your great acheivements lie in the past. There is much to do, much to observe. There is, quite simply, much.

The misplaced cynicism steered towards politic refuses to belive that the dream, to free those who can't be freed. To help he who cannot help himself, endlessly, finally. Two worlds collide, yet neither trusts the other, and therefore denies its very existence. The best things of all worlds converge on this one point in time-space, as I am sitting in warmth, drinking beer, and have no worries.

I'M BETTER WHEN I WRITE ALL CAPS.

Anger, after all, is an energy[*]. To be harnessed and directed like any other. Energy, measured in joules, is a scalar, an absolute measurement which can be funneled into an arbitrary direction for an arbitrary purpose. *-As postulated by the Lydon principle)

Your lip was split by nature. I had nothing to do with it.

Sensible advice: Do not do anything you regret. Ever.

I hope you had a good time tonight. Even though you've become as distant as the stars of which we spoke last time we met.

Is OD'ing on codeine even possible?

Everyone has secret thoughts. But subversion is a crime. Sorry to my pinko-lefty friends, but you've got have a little respect for...well, a little respect.

Ah, well. It's to be expected.

I've done a little sociological background reading on my neighbors here, the crafty and sneaky europeans. Mainly, I'm trying to get a grip on exactly what it is that's always running through their stunningly coiffed heads.

They're not like us.

Euros are definitely on a difference political scale as americans. In the U.S., there's conservatives, and liberals. And liberal-liberals. And neoconservatives, whatever that really means.

I'm fairly moderate, in a classically conservative, small government, free-enterprise patriotic sort of way. Which is fine with me. It's definitely true that some people just can't cut it on their own, even with (or without, as the case may be) their family to take care of them. For example, drug-addicts with mental illness just might need to be taken care of at some point. Worst case scenario.

In Europe, of course, american-style conservatism isn't allowed. It's not even conceivable. You're covered every step of the way by Daddy State. Can't fall down, as the Net of Social Goodwill will catch you, set you down gently, or not, if you want to be held. It's all very depressing, really.

So, on the "far right" of European politics you've got the values of, say, Michael Moore. That's about as conservative as it gets over here. That's why they hate Bush so much. Well, that, and because they're told to. You know how fashionable it is to hate Dubya among the elitists in the U.S. Well, absolutely everyone over here is an elitist.

You pay taxes over here in ways you can't even imagine, all to cover the smothering social systems and the army of "Beamters", the civil servants that cannot be fired no matter how bad the economy is, or how badly they do their job, and always, always get a raise.

All in all, the power in the hands of a European consumer amount to about 10% of his income, or even less. You pay about 40% income tax. Then social security is another 10%. Then (in my case) 300 more (~9%) for the highly vaunted health insurance. So, before you've even gotten your money, 60% of it's gone.

Then, there's the outrageous 16% value-added tax that's slapped onto every transaction. 78%. another 15% or so for rent and utilities. Before you know it, you've got about 7% of your money with which to define how you're going to live.

For groceries, entertainment, gasoline, car payments, car insurance, clothing, beer, cigarettes, pot, and all the other things that define you as a person you can devote about 7% of your money. This is the money that keeps the small businessman afloat, and encourages entrepeneurship and, to a certain degree, innovation. This is your "luxury" spending, which unfortunately includes all the things that are actually necessities.

The rest you leave up to his Highness the King. That's what allows the Europeans to be driven down like they are. They have a form of trust with their governments that is totally alien to an American. To us, the government are the sneaky bastards who are trying with all their might to steal our money and spend it on drugs and hookers and paying the cops to keep us from doing it. Over here, the government is your friend.

A german jury, for example, isn't made up of randomly-chosen citizens. If you are accused of a crime, you're tried by professional, state-employed jurors. Would Americans ever trust the government enough to let them do that?

I guess Euros are still the monarchists at heart. Heck, half the countries over here are quite literally still monarchies. Don't get me wrong: I like it over here, once you get past politics. It's just that in the past year or so, there isn't much to talk about except for politics.

Sigh.

Blah. Dead horse. You think Islam is a religion of peace and love? Just ask Salman Rushdie.

You think Christianity is a religion of peace and love? Just ask about a million people tortured to death in Europe by the spanish, or a billion altar-boys shown that special brand of love.

You think Buddhism or Hinduism is about peace and love? Take a look at southeast Asia at the moment.

You think Judaism is about peace and love? Don't even need anecdotes; just read the Old Testament, keyword "Gomorrah".

To priests and imams, rabbis and reverends: Stop fucking up the world, you perverts. The message is wearing thin.

Why is it that all the guys have the same god, but the fight is about whose ad agency he's going to hire?

God I hate you guys.

I've noticed that over the years, the hatred of the president has gotten worse. Maybe it's just because I pay attention now, or maybe because I kinda like Dubya, but it seems like the hatred is getting ever more intense. Towards the end of Clinton's period, people were really ripping him a new butt each and every day. But the defenders were just kind of, oh yeah, whatever, kind of like they are with Bush. The hatred that Bush is getting is just out-of-hand, if you ask me. I mean, the guy is president of the USA after all; you would think he would get some props somewhere.

It's snowing. I can't believe it. It's April 10th, and it's snowing.

Most americans underestimate how far north Europe is. We picture it as being about level with the US, as far as latitude is concerned. Not true. Europe is more level with Canada than the US. Dusseldorf, for example, is on the same latitude as Calgary.
Of course, distance from equator is not the end-all, be-all of saying it's freakin' cold somewhere. Nevertheless, it is indeed freakin' cold here.

It snowed. Last year it snowed on Easter Sunday, which was something like April 19th. I hated it.

Here's a thought:

We all saw the performance by the Iraqi Information Minister this morning. To me, he looked a little scared. Could it be that Saddam's still alive (he hasn't updated his blog in a day or two), and he's being kept in the dark by the InfoMin? Think about it: Why would you even try just now to convince a bunch of reporters that the obvious isn't true, much less try so hard. He's either blown a fuse, or he's doing it because Saddam's watching, and needs to think that the War's going well.

Damn, if he wants to think that he's winning the war, he should just read the New York Times.

the command-post says the Iraqis have some still-operational pre-Desert Storm German/French ROLANDs.

Hmm...now I wonder where they got them from?

The upcoming General Assembly gives us the chance to reinvigorate that common purpose and refine the UNs ability to meet the challenges of a changed world. President Bush, Secretary Powell and the U.S. Mission to the UN are committed to making this years General Assembly a success, and we look forward to working with your government to that end. I would like to take this opportunity to outline for you our principal goals for this session.

That was the U.S. Delegation's opening for their "goals and intentions" brief to the United Nations last year.

Good call, kids. I've provided some highlights.

Re-energizing international counter-terrorism efforts

Keeping UN discussion of the Middle East constructive, not divisive

Supporting the New Partnership for development, especially with Africa

Working for a more efficient and effective UN Now this actually looks interesting

We look forward to the Secretary-Generals UN reform plan, which we hope will help make the UN leaner and more effective. During consideration of the revised 2002-3 UN budget, as well as the outline for the 2004-5 biennium, we will continue to stress the need for budget discipline. The budget will need to include a clear order of priorities, and identify programs and activities for elimination. Our goal is not cost cutting for cost-cuttings sake, but to direct UN resources away from obsolete, inefficient programs towards higher priorities.

Promoting human rights and democracy

We hope you will join us in seeking strong, accurate human rights resolutions on Iraq, Iran, Sudan, Cambodia, and Burma. We will also seek to co-sponsor resolutions promoting democracy, the rights of women, children, religious minorities, and other issues.

Other Issues

At this years General Assembly, the Sixth Committee will consider a proposal to ban human reproductive cloning. We do not think this goes far enough and would favor a complete ban on human cloning for any purpose. We hope that you will join us in calling for a total ban.

Sincerely,

John D. Negroponte

Recently, I've been trawling forums over here to get a handle on the German perspective on the war in Iraq. I've never physically met a German who supports the United States in Gulf War II, and that certainly isn't much different in the online world, either. Germans are not pacifists, as their image projects. For example, they have absoluttely nothing to say about the French colonialist intrusion the Ivory Coast. Nor are they particularly harsh in their criticism of China over Tibet. They strongly believed in the Bosnia/Kosovo intercessions. So what is it about the US/Iraq issue? Well, here's a few choice words from our "buddies", the germans. Read the bad news

When is it a war?

Huge explosions in the center of this fabled city, in its biggest market; American planes roar overhead; body parts litter the streets. Thousands of innocents die, and a nation seems on the verge of tearing itself apart with grief and rage. It's seeing itself as the innocent victim of an unprovoked war of aggression, racism, and hatred. Calls for revenge ring out among the nation's citizens, the press, the leaders.

Huge explosions in the center of this fabled city, in its biggest market; American planes roar overhead; body parts litter the streets. Thousands of innocents die, and a nation seems on the verge of tearing itself apart with grief and rage. It's seeing itself as the innocent victim of an unprovoked war of aggression, racism, and hatred. Calls for revenge ring out among the nation's citizens, the press, the leaders.

The world community is shocked by the barbarity of the attack, the total lack of justification, the loss of so many innocent lives at the whim of just one man. A few governments around the world support the brutal attack, in spite of the overall opinion of their populations, hungry for a slice of the power and respect its perpetrator commands.

United States, September, 2001. And you don't call that war?

There are four horsemen of the Apocalypse: Famine, War, Pestilence, and Jim. Three of these four are already gaining steam, with War in Iraq, Pestilence in southeast Asia, and Jim Burton in Evansville, Indiana. We have only to fear where a famine will pop up! Then, friends and neighbors, is the Apocalypse upon us!

But on War news, the Anti-war/Anti-american/Anti-Bush crowd is losing steam, and I say good riddance. Peace is all fine and dandy, and definitely what you want in Your Neighborhood, unless, of course, your neighborhood is downtown Basra. One thing you don't hear mentioned in the media, for example, are peace protests in Iraq. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's just not as good for news people as unsubstantiated reports of American Missiles hitting markets in Baghdad. Now that's good news. I just wish there were as many people who were critical of the United Nations' failure to defuse this situation as there were of the United States' failure to win over the Security [sic] Council.

A little history lesson for ya, as if I were the expert on the subject. (Hey, my URL, my forum)

When was the last time, I ask, that the United Nations did anybody any good?

Gulf War? Sorry, not a UN action. That was a coalition led by the US acting on a resolution by the Security Council (sound familiar?)

Bosnia? Buzz, wrong answer. The UN botched that one. NATO had to come in and save the day, led by...guess who! (The US, that's right!)

Somalia? Well, (a) that was indeed a UN-undertaking, from start to finish. And (b) They fucked that one up so badly, that most people still think it was a "unilateral" American operation, because no UN official wanted to mention it after 1997.

Rwanda? Ahh, Rwanda. Rwanda has a long and distinguished history in African culture. Unfortunately, African culture ended about the time the White People from Europe moved in and declared the people to be savages, and sold half the continent into slavery. The U.N. did nothing to stop the genocide in Rwanda during the 1990s. Nothing. There's no oil in Rwanda, so there's no reason to pay any attention. They sat there and watched as thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of members of the warring tribes systematically wiped out their ethnically-chosen rivals.

Afghanistan? Well, Afghanistan was all Anglo-American. It was right. It was exactly as illegal or legal as Iraq, but nobody said anything bad about it. Why? Cause there ain't no oil in Afghanistan. Plus, the Russians hate Afghanistan, for obvious reasons.

Ivory Coast? Ivory Coast? What's that? Well, the Ivory Coast is a former french colony, that had themselves a little revolution about 5 years ago. Last year, the french sent in the troops to effect a regime change, i.e. to install a french-friendly government instead of the local-yokels. And, if I might mention it, they had little or (actually) no UN support for their actions. Just for a little side information, this is colonialism. This is imperialism. This a left-over of Europe's bloodthirsty colonial period. Think about that next time you hear anything about American Arrogance and Imperialism.

I'm gonna make an online quiz out of these questions, I tell ya.

You see, there's a big discrepancy in all this: Nobody argues when it's the U.N., and the U.N. don't care unless it's white people. Why has the U.N. never condemned Israel? Because they don't kill whitey. Why don't the U.N. committees condemn Palestine? Well, actually because Palestine isn't and never has been it's own country.

I'm no lawyer, but I've taken a little time to see what the other side is talking about these days, and to figure out for myself whether or not what the Americans and British and Australians and Italians and Spanish and Danish and Dutch are doing is illegal. I think it's documented enough that there are 16 resolutions from the U.N. Security Council that authorize military force against Saddam if he doesn't allow U.N. weapons inspectors to oversee the destruction of weapons*. That alone is enough to "legally" prosecute a war. But sometimes you need overwhelming reasons. Technically, and, dare I say, morally, the U.N. is required to prosecute Saddam under the 1948 Genocide Articles. You see, the segregation, and attempted genocide of the north-Iraq Kurds in 1988 is a crime against the U.N. Genocide Conventions. And those conventions state, under no uncertain terms, that perpetrators of genocide are to be dealt with by member states as criminals, and apprehended. That's not a justification for the War at all. It also isn't meant to be. It's meant to be yet another example of why the current structure of the U.N. does not work.

But, enough about that. It's boring. Like I said, shooting down antiwar sentiment is like shooting ducks in a barrel these days. I'm not really pro-war, but I really see absolutely no problem with going into Iraq and ousting Hussein.

In other news, the french surrendered to the Ivory Republic today.

[*] A common misconception is that the U.N. inspectors were there to find weapons of mass destruction. Actually, that's not the case at all. The existence of the weapons was already documented and acknowledged by the Iraqi regime. The resolutions call for the supervised destruction of the weapons, which are assumed by the U.N. to exist.

I was surprised at my reaction today, as I read about the start of the much-awaited, much discussed military action against Iraq. I was a little saddened to think that the option of military pressure instead of military action hadn't worked. With our demands of the unconditional departure of Hussein from power, it may have been a little overoptimistic to think that he wouldn't sacrifice his people for power. He will.

Yes, we will win. Yes, we will kill Hussein, or take him prisoner, like Milosevic. Yes, he will rot in a cell for war crimes, including the worst gas attacks since World War I, if he survives. And yes, his people will eventually betray them. Already, they are preparing themselves to become hostages. It's certainly not beyond Saddam to begin gassing his own people in order to extort the US into stopping their attacks. And yes, we will take the heat for that, too.

The relationships with Europe and Asia are being destroyed. The toppling of Hussein's Iraq is a valid action on the part of the US, and should have been carried out by the UN 5 to 10 years ago. The true way here is that our allies support us, as we have supported them for over 50 years. There is absolutely no reason for the Europeans to ally themselves with Iraq as they have done, except to express latent anti-American sentiments that have been festering for years, probably since the Revolutionary War.

It is absolutely clear that the UN has failed here in their envisioned role as world police. They have been ineffectual and amazingly weak-handed in their dealings with Iraq. It's all too clear now that those villains against whom the UN was charged to protect the world, are laughing themselves to tears. Resolutions, meetings, and condemnations mean absolutely nothing unless the UN is prepared to back them up with force. That's called strategic deterrence, and it must first be believed to be effective. That is what we are doing in Iraq: We are doing the UN's job for them.

It's time to reconsider whether we will stay in the UN, and in Nato. I'm pretty convinced that Europe needs to busy itself with its own defence, if it's not prepared to help other people with theirs.

I will say one thing more: If the US pulls out of Europe, I'm getting the fuck out of here. There's a nice little bridge between the mideast and Europe, and there's a mole inside the fence. Arc de Capitulation, indeed.