World may be headed for nuclear destruction:

ElBaradei said the world must drop the idea that nuclear weapons are fine in the hands of some countries and bad in the hands of others.

This guy's job is to observe the proliferation of nuclear weapons. He's telling us that the world is on the brink of nuclear holocaust, and the answer is that the people who've been able to restrain themselves from using these weapons for 59 years are the ones who should disarm? What about the people who don't pay attention to orders from the U.N., like, say Islamic shitholes Pakistan and Iran.

Who the hell put a guy named "Mohamed" in charge of nuclear proliferation, anyway?

Hot Disclaimer-on-Disclaimer Action!

Like most bloggers who dared to mention it, I've gotten unbelievable amounts of traffic from people searching the Internet for some combination of "tit" and Janet Jackson. My search results are nothing but horny net-voyeurs looking for brown sugar halftime action.

This guy's absolutely shameless, though. He actually reserved the domainname.

Google Whore

After reading a few pieces of background information about both Kerry and Bush, and the choice we'll likely have in November, I've teamed up with The U.K.'s Guardian to present the following:

Read More

Reading Reynolds today, I saw a link to the very excellent David's Medienkritik, a German-run Media watchdog blog.

The discussion seems to start out with a take on why Germans have a bug up their behinds about Americans.

Far be it from me to ignore the furor about last night's superbowl. For those that missed it, during the Superbowl Halftime Show, known homosexual Justin Timberlake ripped the pasty off Janet Jackson's right boob. That's disgusting, if you ask me. Not because I'm a prude or anything. I just think that if Janet wanted to show her tits on international TV, she should've done it back in the 80s.

A couple of boobs

Janet Jackson's Right Tit

I didn't see the halftime show; I swore off Superbowl halftime shows after the "Elvis Presto" episode back in '88. So, I'm not sure how the CBS coverage went, as I was watching on ORF (Austria), but after the game, on the re-cap montage, they had a quick shot of Janet with a yellow circle around her exposed breast.

I tuned in at the beginning of the 4th quarter, so I can't really say whether or not the game was good. But the 4th quarter was killer. Congratulations to the Patriots on an entertaining Superbowl.

Oh, and fuck MTV. First they ruined the music industry, now they're ruining football.

From the Telegraph:

The suspect told police the two victims, who were shot in the head shortly after morning prayers, had made statements insulting his honour and that of his wife.

And let's not forget: The Turks are "Moderates" in the world of Islam. RoPMA.

Democratic Presidential Candidate Joe Lieberman has just crossed the border into Assland. That rotten little bastard is using Referrer Spam to try and boost his woefully floundering campaign. The proof? I found this in my logs:

..."http://www.joe2004.com" "StarProse Referrer Advertising System 2004"...

Joe, get this straight: Of all the Democratic candidates, you were the only one who I would've considered voting for. Referrer Spam is a dirty trick, and I declare it dishonest and intrusive. You've lost one vote, my man, and gained nothing.

Cut it out.

"Well-known Islamic scholar" Sheikh Ayed Al-Qarni tells us westerners the ugly, ugly truth: Women Driving Cars Is a Sinful Thing.

I do not see women driving cars in our country because of the consequences that would spring from it such as the spread of corruption, women uncovering their hair and faces, mingling between the sexes, men being alone with women and the destruction of the family and society in whole."

I have to admit, I was skeptical at first. I mean, really, how could women driving lead to the spread of corruption? Then I thought about some of the women drivers I've seen, including my mother, and the effect they have on pure, law-abiding men. I've seen many a decent, upstanding fellow lose his religion after being nearly side-swiped by some little Dunwoody Princess putting on her goddamn lipstick in the rear-view mirror while driving her bastard Mercedes down the Interstate like a runaway Conestoga.

Now, them Muslims, they know how to communicate with a woman like that: with the back of your hand! Get that corruption outta here, Jezebel!

(Via Little Green Footballs)

Why was Martin Luther King, Jr. was so important?

Read:

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

He had this dream, stated it, and someone shot him down for it.

Commenter Lt. Robert Conyers, 3rd Paratrooper Division (UK) writes:

As a British citizen (born), as a soldier, and as a westerner it pains me to say that I do see Muslims as the enemy. They have NEVER given me reason to think otherwise. I am open to reasons why Muslims are our friends, but I`m stumped if I can think of any. They will take and take until there is nothing left without even thinking about giving if it is of no benefit to themselves.

Nice tits, you socially-conscious young ideologue, you!

European students are idiots. Theoretically, that's ok. After all, being a student, nominally at least, means you learn stuff. In practice, however, students learn nothing. How could they? They already know everything. I'm not sure what the root cause of that is. Is it because they're young? Is it because they've never had real jobs? Most of the students I know are close to being 30 years old. When, exactly, were these losers planning on graduating? Do they maybe not see that a system that holds your hand until your 30, then forces you to retire at 63 maybe, just maybe, isn't a fiscally viable one? Maybe it's because they don't understand how the world works.

I'm a grouchy old man. I understand how the world works, and it's not really that complicated: You get what you deserve, but don't always deserve what you get. You work hard, you get stuff. Can be that at some point, some of your stuff gets taken away from you. Let's call that the Margin of Error. At any rate, what is certain is that whatever benefits you receive from this Margin of Error is not really yours, save by luck alone. You should enjoy such windfall, but you can't count on it being there. And nobody cares about your whiny, babbling outcry when it gets taken away.

Students in countries like the United States are also idiots, but for different reasons. In the U.S., you pay for college. It's expensive, but it's doable. According to the Heinlein Morality Principle, you appreciate it more, because you or your family paid for it. It didn't get taken away from other people at gunpoint, in the form of taxes, and given to you. The reason american students are idiots usually is because they're rich kids. Rich kids are the worst little bastards in the world. Not all of them, of course; Just a crushing majority of them.

Back to European Idiot Students: Not only are they kids, and Europeans, they're also getting free college. What nasty little communists. Over the last 50 years, the European University System has undermined its value so badly that they've resorted to filming pornos (see above) to raise money. Now, I'm not against entrepreneurship, and God knows I've got nothing against a good porno, but these little turds are filming a porno as a protest! That's the state of rhetoric in European universities. In order to protest the cutting of education budgets by the German government, they film a movie about a young, attractive co-ed balling a professor. I can only guess that a professor wrote the script.

Why can't these oh-so-enlightened little knuckleheads do something effective as a protest? A local independent international watchdog association reported last year that a group of civic-minded little bastard-fuck cocksucker terrorist pieces of shit trash idiots, presumably students, went around destroying 10 percent of the restrooms on campus, and breaking 10 percent of the computers (by stealing hardware, no less!) on the Augsburg University campus in response to the 10 percent cuts in funding. Their point? Hey, dude, see how bad it is when you got 10 percent less? At least, I assume that's what they were trying to say. All they really managed, of course, was to undermine their own moral position, and redirect even more of the University's funding away from scholastics in order to repair the damage.

But that's not important. Shit like this is just an attention-grab. Little snots like this don't really have anything to say that's work hearing. Nor do they matter in the grand scheme of things. I laugh at their hardship. I'm giggling inside at the thought of all these 35-year old students suddenly being shot out of a cannon into the business world with neither credentials nor work experience to fall back on, and a 20% unemployment rate just waiting there to catch them.

Keep filming those pornos baby. You might have a future in that, at least.

Related Links Ineffectual Liberal Jackoffs Pt. I

A day without much sleep can change your mind, open or close it. A little bit of creative rush towards the end, and then you settle down into a lazy, dreamlike, floating feeling and at some point, the boundaries between being awake and asleep blur a little, and then you're gone. Sleep, after being shy and playful for a little while, takes you in its hand and squeezes you until there's no more thinking to be done, no more sensations to be noticed, a deathlike state where even dreams don't come.

A day without much sleep, on a monday, can mean a lack of energy for the rest of the week. When it happens on a friday, however, it's usually followed by another kind of day: A Day Without Pants. A Day Without Pants is the best kind of day. There certainly is stuff to be done, but nothing important or public enough to bother putting on pants. You let it shape your plans for you, this day. You need to go shopping, but in most fine supermarkets, pajamas are not acceptable. Nor are houseshoes. At any rate, the walk there could kill you, or at least give you a cold. Best stay in. There's still enough there to eat for today, and tomorrow being sunday, maybe you could fast a day, not eat in order to atone for some wrong. It's better than putting on pants, anyway.

Then there's the night. There was no night last night, it was a road night, so to speak, a carriage-ride through sleepyland. You have a guilty feeling that it's saturday, and there ought to be something to do, somewhere to go. You scan the local city information-systems for signs of a sleepover, or pajama party, but nothing surfaces. You say to yourself, I don't want to take off my pajamas; maybe if I dyed them black, noone would notice. My houseshoes? Honestly, how often do you look at a man's shoes? But that's denial. You're kidding yourself. At some point you give in to the pajama's will, as all do in the end.

Alexa, you rotten whore.

Ok, I'm not really concerned with traffic. I don't write for you people, just for myself. But why do I have to rank behind the Peter Pan Guy?

What a hoot. Where do people find pictures like this?

It's 2004 already. Fortunately, the next pithy date won't show up until 2010, when Arthur C. Clarke predicted that we'd finally learn the secret of the monolith from B-List actors Helen Mirren and Roy Scheider, and find life on the Jovian moon Europa. But for now, we can't even land a robot on Mars without the airbags getting in the way. At least our lander actually landed, instead of turning into what can only be called an unprovoked pre-emptive missile strike against the martians. So, we've got a little time to kill before the specials and comparisons start showing up, as they did in 1984 and 2001. Somehow, though, people forgot all about Space: 1999. Not only were we supposed to have moonbases and those cool 4-footed spaceships, we were also supposed to have blown the moon out of orbit and into deep space with a nuclear accident, and found a red-hot-sexy shape-changing skirt named Maya.

As a kid, I always thought it would be awesome if Maya was my girlfriend. Then, I could use my karate powers and she could use her shape-changing abilities as an unbeatable crime-fighting team. Now that I'm older, I can only imaging how our relationship would be. Eventually, she would dump me due to my constantly begging her to change into a 4-breasted woman with a foot-long tongue.

2003 was a very good year. I finally joined the world of the self-employed, for example. That should at least enable me to lose weight in 2004, seeing as I can't afford two potato chips to rub together. 24 million Iraqis were freed from the tyranny of Saddam Hussein, at the low cost of a few billion barrels of oil and any semblance of sovereignty to the AmeriKKKan oppressors, so that's good. What else, what else? The U.S. economy kicked back into gear, we nabbed Saddam Hussein, and the Clinton's started pulling the DNC's strings in Wesley Clarke's favor; three things which will undoubtedly conspire to get George Bush re-elected next year, and stave off socialism in the U.S. for yet another 4 years.

There were some sad points, though. My uncle, Scott, died, and I hope his soul is finally in peace: He had a terrible life.

For 2004, I haven't yet made any resolutions. I plan to take some time this weekend and devote it to seriously setting some goals for this year. It could be a good year for me as well as the world, and I need to take the time for once in my life to make a serious plan and stick to it.

So, y'all get the gears running, get focused, and let's get out there and kick some ass!

/Gipper

Oh, them silly pranksters at PETA.

PETA, the People for the Abusive Treatment of Little Children in Deference to Chickens, has a plan this year. It's not been enough to throw red paint on innocent people, or set minks free that in turn terrorized local fauna and created an environmental disaster.

Now, PETA is going after people's children. The plan for this holiday season is to stand outside of performances of the Nutcracker Suite, dressed up as cuddly animals. They'll wait for women to show up wearing fur coats, then they give the Your Mommy Kills Animals! comic to the ladies' kids.

What's inside such a comic book? Glad you asked:

Keep your doggie or kitty friends away from mommy--she's an animal killer!

Does anybody find this kind of shit funny? All this will accomplish is that a few PETA representatives will, quite rightly, get the ever-loving shit beat out of them. It almost makes me ashamed to be a vegetarian.

On the brighter side, I'm starting my own photoshop contest! You can download the blanks of this comic here:

Illustrator & EPS Versions (270KB)

(via A Small Victory)

Entry 1:

Y'know, you try to do something nice, and people just walk all over you. The latest wenis to join the moonbat brigade is Jörg Haidler, whoever that is. He tells his constituency (seen right), that he "doubts the veracity" of the Saddam arrest. Why would that be? Could it be because he's Saddam's old buddy, just like Chirac?

Hmmm...nice picture. I'm starting to sweat a little here. It seems that not only has the United States lost the support of the Communists, now we've upset the Nazis as well.

I just passed 10,000 visits for the first time last night.

How 'bout a round on me!

With apologies to Steve H.

Hussein's been taken, and it's time for him to clear the air about a few things. Where them weapons? What's the deal with Al Qaeda? How in the world does a man grow a foot-long beard in just 6 months?

Interestingly, I was watching the news here in Germany tonight. I hardly ever watch television news, since it's about 5 minutes of real news, then blah blah blah blah blah for 25 minutes. I was amazed at the difference between the story you get on the Internet, and the bullshit that the talking head on television was spewing. Here's an admittedly rough quote:

Saddam Hussein was responsible for the deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqis over the course of his presidency...Although the Americans and British went to war over Hussein's links to Al Qaeda and Weapons of Mass Destruction, neither of these allegations have proven true.

That's bullshit. Absolute bullshit. First off, it was hundreds of thousands, you twit. Don't whitewash Saddam Hussein, of all people. Secondly, take a look at this story at the Telegraph from Friday:

Iraq's coalition government claims that it has uncovered documentary proof that Mohammed Atta, the al-Qaeda mastermind of the September 11 attacks against the US, was trained in Baghdad by Abu Nidal, the notorious Palestinian terrorist.

What will have to happen before the news anchors start telling the truth? What does it take to quash this meme? There's also the unkillable meme that, "70% of Americans believed Saddam Hussein was directly involved in the 9/11 attacks." This is usually cited in order to discredit American public opinion polls. The premise, you see, is that the American public is so uninformed and gullible, they believe that Hussein was in cahoots with Al Qaeda. Well, as it turns out, he was. With Hussein in hand, we should find those weapons as soon as possible. If it turns out there were no weapons, and the Iraq War was all about the ooooiil, impeach Bush, convict him, and put him before the ICC. I have no problem with that. If the weapons are found in the next few days, Saddam details his links to Al Qaeda, and even points us the way to Osama bin Laden, then millions of Europeans will simply forget that Saddam ever existed, and will continue to spout the lies they so desperately want to believe.

Ok, on the one hand, I'm sad. Sad, because I really wanted this blog name. On the other hand, I'm happy. Happy, because I randomly stumbled onto that piece of blogdom which had been missing in my life.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

The Porn Blog

On the third hand, however, I'm very confused. Confused, because it seems that every domain name I want to register is already, in some other sphere, a well-known porno site. I submit to you xoffender.com and youbitch.com, neither of which are safe for work, yet both of which are easily confused with my own, independently-registered non-porn domains xoffender.de and youbitch.org.

The question is, of course, whether this is just some sort of perverts' zeitgeist, or if, indeed, the highest order of probability in the Internet belongs to porn. What's the most common sort of webpage? Porn. What's the most common sort of email? Porn Spam. What comprises well over 75% of my browser cache? Stock Quotes. Ok, ok, it's porn. I feel myself to be a pawn, nay, a victim of statistics.

I'm at a loss.

Whew! This is a nice thing. I just donated 30,000 of my Delta Skymiles, since I always forget to use them anyway. Hopefully, some poor little old mother will get to see her soldier-boy or -girl for Christmas, just because that anonymous guy in Germany was nice enough to empty his sky-miles account for them.

I've got warm fuzzies now.

I dare you to make this your wallpaper.

I double-dog dare ya.

Russia To Give Kyoto Thumbs Down from Wired

The Kyoto Protocol is, according to many, a cynical attempt by the Europeans to slow down the rest of the world until it can catch back up. It's an economic handbrake for anybody who signs it, providing they actually produce anything. At any rate, it's irrelevant, as global warming itself has been thoroughly discredited as the alarmist Green political card that it is.

Just in case any of you out there were wondering what to get Rube for Christmas, let me ease your dilemma. What a sexy little bitch that is.

Of the three cartoons below, which were all published this year, one has been re-printed by the leftist press as a harmless bit of humor, one has been derided as an outrageous bit of racism, and the other has been given a major award. Can you spot which is which?

Click images to the see full version

A

B

C

The answer?

Cartoon A, from un-funny toilet-humor cartoonist Johnny Hart, has been met with outrage by the muslim community in the United States. Why? Because apparently it's a hidden slur about Islam (notice the 'slam' sound effect; that's the offending part). B.C., the strip from which this particular cartoon comes, is an aging, occasionally humorous family strip about prehistoric life.

Cartoon B was downloaded from the horrendously anti-Semitic Indymedia network. Normally, I'd ignore hate sites, but Indymedia is a special case. First of all, they're indexed by Google News as a legitimate news page, and therefore have some amount of influence. Secondly, they're not a hate site, according to their charter. Instead, they're simply a Liberal-leaning news source. If that's liberal ideology, I'll stick to being a redneck anti-intellectual conservative. I'd rather be obligated to love money than hate Jews.

That brings us to C. This is a cartoon by Dave "Zyklon" Brown, a lefty political cartoonist in England. The Political Cartoon Society , whoever they are, gave Brown the Political Cartoon of the Year award for this. On its face, it's a rather melodramatic, unoriginal cartoon with about as much critical insight as a Nuremberg rally banner. It's not particularly well-drawn, nor is it stylistically compelling. All-in-all, just another Jew-hatin' cartoon. The real travesty of its acceptance, indeed its praise, is that it plays on a horrifying piece of Arab anti-Semitic folklore. You see, one of the hitleresque myths that Muslims spread about Jews, is that they use the blood of palestinian children to make ceremonial bread. (see also this article at memri.org).

Now, I know and (hopefully) you know Jews don't eat palestinian babies. Why would they? The problem is that this particular myth has power among arabs. They believe it the way Europeans believe the Jessica Lynch rescue was faked. They read it somewhere, it seemed believable, and they just integrated it into their long list of Why the Jew Must Go. Don't forget, muslims believe rays shoot out of the hairs of women, forcing men to rape them.

But these last two cartoons weren't drawn by Arabs. They were drawn by intellectuals and academics. The first was drawn by a christian, and therefore is automatically suspect.

President George W. Bush (news - web sites) carries a platter of turkey and fixings as he visits U.S. troops for Thanksgiving at Baghdad International Airport, November 27, 2003.

I hope everybody had a nice Thanksgiving. I force-fed my german friends with turkey, cornbread, mashed potatoes, green beans, and apple pie for dessert. It was god-damned beautiful. And I wish I wasn't a vegetarian sometimes, because there's some turkey sandwiches-in-the-making sitting in my kitchen right now.

Leftovers, anyone?

Spam Rage

An interesting story at Yahoo! News! Service!. It's not quite illegal yet to send spam. Well, ok, it is illegal, but it's not enforceable. There you have a situation where the government cannot take care of its citizens. The problem is, even though people are breaking the law, the consequences of the crime are insufficiently bad to warrant significant retaliation. In the end, it's just annoying, not dangerous. So, in comes the question, how do you keep yourself from being annoyed? One man has an answer:

Booher threatened to send a "package full of Anthrax spores" to the company, to "disable" an employee with a bullet and torture him with a power drill and ice pick; and to hunt down and castrate the employees unless they removed him from their e-mail list, prosecutors said.

There's a lesson here. It is, indeed, a free country (depending on where you live, of course), but it still isn't a good idea going around acting like a dick. Somebody, somewhere, is eventually going to take exception, no matter how much you whine and complain that what you're doing is legal. That's what the answer to any litigiously unsolvable problem is. You simply make the creation of the annoyance a) not worth the effort, or b) too dangerous. Maybe spammers will one day become the subject of personal retaliation, not litigation.

Contrary to appearances, just because a company produces devices to enhance the already-impressive penis, doesn't mean they send spam. The money quote:

[Albion Medical's Mackay] said his firm does not send spam but blamed a rival firm which he said routes much of their unsolicited bulk e-mail through Russia and eastern Europe. Mackay said such firms gave a bad name to the penis enhancement business.

(Links via Drudge)