crossposted in German at Sistaweb

I've been a Vegetarian for over 11 years.  In 1995, I spontaneously decided that I much preferred cows to steaks.  Since that fateful Thursday, all those years ago, I've eaten neither meat, nor fisch nor fowl, nor Gummi-bears, and I've felt better about myself, being a friend of the animals.

But now, I say shit on 'em.  Maddox put it best, when he said, "If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat".  On Tuesday, September 12, 2006 (our monthly Date Evening), I, Rube, will, for the first time since the first Clinton presidency, give the knife-and-fork-treatment to an unlucky one of our four-feeted friends. And I'll enjoy it, despite current scandals in the German meat packing industry and the lugubrious braying of militant PETA-Hippies.

But it's not without its difficulties, this change in eating habits.  I've never actually eaten meat here in Germany.  I have no idea how things like Wienerschnitzel or Currywurst taste, not to mention what one puts on them.  Does mayonnaise go with Leberkse?  Does one eat Schweinsbraten with his fingers? I have no idea.  That's why Rube needs your help!

If you've spent some time in Germany, and know your way around the Teutonic kitchen, drop me a line in the comments. Or, if you've got some secret tips, like how one goes about eating Weisswurst, feel free to chime in.  I'm a complete beginner here, so no piece of information is too trivial.

Thanks for your support!

I watched Munich the other night with the little lady. It's a bit confusing, in an artistic sense. I know as much about the massacre itself as most people, and have concrete opinions about it that won't be changed by a Spielberg movie, so I was more interested in the dramatic aspects. There are some downright lame moments in the film, with the screwing-your-wife/fantasizing-about-gunplay-and-exploding-helicopters montage at the top of the list. Other than that, the only real lasting impression I took with me was just how great an idea it was to cast Daniel Craig as the next James Bond.

Seeing Craig in a movie is an interesting experience. He's absolutely magnetic on the screen. You can pick his beady little eyes and hideously craggy face out of any crowded scene. He looks like the Thing, from the Marvel comics, which is exactly the same reason that men like Sean Connery.

I know this choice is unpopular with women. Dames just love Pierce Brosnan. I admit it, he's a sexy bastard, and if I were of a certain orientation or had a vagina he could save me from S.P.E.C.T.R.E. any day. But Pierce was just another dandy in a long line of ill-conceived Bonds. When the franchise switched from Sean Connery to Roger Moore, it also switched from being a man's movie to being a metrosexual mish-mash of hideously bad jokes and pretty-boy Bonds mugging for the camera.

That's not what men want to see. The Bond-film makers have finally seen the light, and want to bring the guys back into the theaters. With Daniel Craig, they've re-discovered the formula that made the Connery films so irresistible for men: An ugly-ass Popeye-looking dude who kills people at random, and gets more ass than a toilet seat.

Just get a load of that mug. Watching this palooka get it on with smokin' hot women from around the world is going to be an inspiration for ugly, hairy guys everywhere. And it will reaffirm our faith in women, who for the last 25 years or so have been giving it up to simpering little Fauntleroys like this:

Sheer brilliance, this Daniel Craig thing. Finally, a Bond movie that doesn't make you weep with shame at what our world, and the men who bone their way through it, have become.