[This is a book review I've written for next month's Die Neue Szene, the local scene-rag, in case anyone feels like reading it.]

"The Adventure of English : The Biography of a Language" (Melvyn Bragg)

£ 8,99
Hodder & Stoughton, London
2004

In this adaptation of his 25-part BBC Radio program, The Routes of English, British author Melvyn Bragg introduces us to his personal image of the English language. Alone from the title, one can see that he views his land's language not as a mere method of communication, but as a living, evolving entity. Covering its arrival in England with Germanic tribes from Europe, to its current status as the global lingua franca, the book really does become an exciting, expansive adventure.

Mr. Bragg does an excellent job of personalizing the subject. One feels that English could very well have "died" during several historical periods, and possessed unique abilities that ensured its survival. Mr. Bragg manages to place the language, rather than its speakers, at the center of the action.

This book is not without its faults, however. There are enormous amounts of information covered, and sometimes it is boring, quite frankly. Long lists of words that came from other languages, for example, could probably better have been shortened without disturbing the overall effect, although Mr. Bragg does a respectable job of presenting them in a cohesive narrative. At other times, important subjects are barely touched upon. Old English, for example, is covered almost exclusively in third person, and is never presented to the reader in any detail.

Despite its shortcomings, The Adventure of English: The Biography of a Language is just that: An entertaining adventure, full of interesting tidbits, trivia, and historical perspectives. It is certainly worth picking up, if you have £8.99 laying around that you'd otherwise just throw out in the street somewhere.

After reading this, and this, I have to ask myself just how many times in his life Mr. Burge has been describe as, "a hoot".

Because, Mr. Burge, you are "a hoot". And I mean that in a totally non-gay way.

And speaking of Iowahawk, I perused his pages and found it amazing, astounding, and a bit unsettling how many words you can type using just your off-hand. I'm right-handed, for example, and here's what I came up with:

starter
server
streetway
street
cart
cats
trace
treat
taser
yesterday
stray
start
sex
sea
see
very
vary

It helps, of course, that I'm using a German keyboard. And that I'm blind drunk. But, in some small way, I think that David Burge, looking down upon us, would approve, if only in a sneering, condescending way.

In Snatch, the main character was named 'Turkish' because his parents were supposed to be on a plane that crashed. In Top Secret, 'Nick' explained that his father though of the name while he was shaving. In one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's first movies, he was named 'Handsome Stranger', after his father. And now, Sandy brings us this:

but this couplethey named their kid Yahoo because they found love on the Internet!

At the rate things are going, if I ever have a son, he'll probably be called 'Rohypnol'.

And not just me. It's making weird noises, and worshipping the devil. No matter what you hear, do NOT OPEN THAT DOOR!

-Rube.

Gak! That's one ugly chick, right there. Probably best for everybody that she blew herself up. It would've been better, of course, if she'd done it all by herself, but Muslims are like that. It doesn't really matter what you do, as long as you take a couple of Jews with you.

Looking at that picture:

Reminded me of nothing so much as:

"Promised me the moon and the stars, 'e did..."