Bush Haters
Posted by Rube | 23 June, 2004
As I noted last year, the unbridled hatred of George Bush makes me nervous. It's not hard to believe he'll be assassinated at some point. In order to defeat the bug, I said to myself as I was shaving this morning, you have to understand the bug. Speaking of shaving, I usually use a single-blade safety razor, like grandpa's, to shave with. Those things are downright dangerous once they get dull; you might as well wear an orange jumpsuit and sit cross-legged on the floor while you shave, exhorting your people to rise up against the oppressor and follow your example by also shaving their heads off, praise be to Allah. I can't find new blades anywhere; I guess I'll have to buy a new razor. So I thought of a few reasons to hate George Bush.
Reasons to Hate George W. Bush
- A President needs to have a way with words. Bush...not have way
- He gave you a wedgy in high school
- He gave you a wedgy in 2000
- He took the last fucking slice of pizza, that bitch
- He banged your girlfriend at that party
- He's one of those religious fundamentalists
- He always makes that shitty little self-righteous coughing noise when you light a cigarette IN A BAR, for fuck's sake
- He doesn't drink
- That Medicare thing
Screw George W. Bush.