Sex

Sex is a strange, strange thing. I don't have sex with people I don't trust. That causes the problem, however, that I'll trust people quicker if I want to sleep with them.

It takes a fair amount of courage to show someone your penis under the best of circumstances. It's even more complicated if you plan on using it on them. It's not like I'm worried about size or anything, just in case you run a spam company. It's more about acceptance. I mean, you whip it out, you expect at the very least that the other person in the room will have some sort of reaction to give you. Fear is the ideal reaction, girls. Well, reserve, anyway.

I've had some good sex in my long life. I think the best sex I ever had was when Dale, who you can see here (2nd picture), came back one night. She came back with what was (in retrospect obviously) one thing in mind: Saturday night, time to get laid. Damn. Anyway, I never stood a chance. I think I was 20. This needs a little background, I think. We had been going out for 3 years. Then, out of the blue (and, dare I mention, during finals), she broke up with me. Two months later, she comes back, and wants to make good. Ok, "make good" turns out to be going to a couple of frat parties, getting good 'n' toasted, and taking me back to my dorm room and fucking my brains out. But, lemme tell ya, if your ex-girlfriend shows up after a couple of months of being broke up, she will have a couple of new tricks up her sleeve. I think she wanted to show off, I really do. She did shit to me most swedes wouldn't do to a farm animal. Ok, when you're a 20 year old guy, you accept it. Damn. The trick is, of course, not to think about where she learned these tricks, or how she managed to learn them so quickly... Sex is strange. It's not the physical act of licking mucous membranes and pluggin' holes that makes it good. It's the relaxation and trust that it takes to do those things, to generate the context that makes it seem like a normal thing to do. It sure is a shame when people take that and use it for their own evil purposes.