I'm not a prude. Not at all, in fact. I respect people's sexuality, and have my own dirty, nasty one to deal with. So no, prude isn't the right word.

I flew back into Germany from the States on Saturday. That morning and afternoon was spent adjusting to the weather, which is somehow hotter than Georgia right now, and relaxing my way into time zone. A beautiful morning at a local cafe with a big-ass beer and a couple of friends, that's the way to do it.

Sunday morning, however, I found it difficult to relax at all. My roommate and his girlfriend invited me to go the lake with them for a nice little swim. It looked to be a hot one, and I'd been worrying that I wasn't getting out enough, so I agreed. So, we drive to the lake and get ready for sun and relaxation. My first clue that it wasn't going to be a good day came pretty early. We were walking into the lake area, on a path curving into the woods. We came around a corner, and there stood, as if from some weird greek legend, three 70+ year old women playing Bocce and cackling madly. Butt naked, I might add.

Great, I think to myself. Just great. My first day back from the US and I'm at a nude beach. Nude beaches sound great in concept. Total freedom for all who want it. Nakedness and fresh air in a non-sexual context. But I'm just not into being naked. In fact, I'm never naked. Never have been.

They wave to us as we walk by, and I wave back, fearing that I may never again in my life acheive an erection. We finally got to the lake, and it was surrounded by naked germans of all ages. It really is amazing that you can get that many naked people in one place without having any attractive ones. They probably are attractive in certain contexts. It's really all about context.

We searched out a spot the others liked. I didn't particularly like it, as you could still see naked people frolicking. I stripped to my oversized swim trunks and lay on my towel, staring really really hard at the ground immediately in front of me. I have no idea what my roommate and his girlfriend did; I wasn't about to get curious about it, either. I took out my sketchpad and started drawing. Staring intently at the paper, and therefore in no way at the many naked men around me, I figured that I and my reputation as a virile, studly, and most of all heterosexual casanova were safe. Then my light was blocked.

Standing over me was some naked 6 year old, screaming 'Mom! Look how good he can draw!' Reflexively, I looked up to see this naked family of four, son daughter husband wife, naked as jaybirds and bending over me to see my drawing, which was titled, innocently enough, '#8: Never Play Baseball With a Naked Man'. It was my planned response should my roommate return and want to throw the baseball around as we'd discussed earlier.

Feeling increasingly uncomfortable about the whole situation, I put my sandals back on and decided to go for a walk in the woods. There were plenty of paths to explore, and I figured it would get me away from the degenerates for an hour or two. I found a beautiful, secluded nature trail, winding through tall woods around secluded creeks and glens. I found a particularly peaceful clearing and stopped there, lighting a cigarette and breathing the humid, clean air of the forest. Then a naked man came out from behind a tree, said "Mornin'", and walked off down the trail. I wept.

"All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers." Orison Swett Marden

So there...

Not all of your great acheivements lie in the past. There is much to do, much to observe. There is, quite simply, much.

The misplaced cynicism steered towards politic refuses to belive that the dream, to free those who can't be freed. To help he who cannot help himself, endlessly, finally. Two worlds collide, yet neither trusts the other, and therefore denies its very existence. The best things of all worlds converge on this one point in time-space, as I am sitting in warmth, drinking beer, and have no worries.

I'M BETTER WHEN I WRITE ALL CAPS.

Anger, after all, is an energy[*]. To be harnessed and directed like any other. Energy, measured in joules, is a scalar, an absolute measurement which can be funneled into an arbitrary direction for an arbitrary purpose. *-As postulated by the Lydon principle)

Your lip was split by nature. I had nothing to do with it.

Sensible advice: Do not do anything you regret. Ever.

I hope you had a good time tonight. Even though you've become as distant as the stars of which we spoke last time we met.

Is OD'ing on codeine even possible?

Everyone has secret thoughts. But subversion is a crime. Sorry to my pinko-lefty friends, but you've got have a little respect for...well, a little respect.

Ah, well. It's to be expected.

I've done a little sociological background reading on my neighbors here, the crafty and sneaky europeans. Mainly, I'm trying to get a grip on exactly what it is that's always running through their stunningly coiffed heads.

They're not like us.

Euros are definitely on a difference political scale as americans. In the U.S., there's conservatives, and liberals. And liberal-liberals. And neoconservatives, whatever that really means.

I'm fairly moderate, in a classically conservative, small government, free-enterprise patriotic sort of way. Which is fine with me. It's definitely true that some people just can't cut it on their own, even with (or without, as the case may be) their family to take care of them. For example, drug-addicts with mental illness just might need to be taken care of at some point. Worst case scenario.

In Europe, of course, american-style conservatism isn't allowed. It's not even conceivable. You're covered every step of the way by Daddy State. Can't fall down, as the Net of Social Goodwill will catch you, set you down gently, or not, if you want to be held. It's all very depressing, really.

So, on the "far right" of European politics you've got the values of, say, Michael Moore. That's about as conservative as it gets over here. That's why they hate Bush so much. Well, that, and because they're told to. You know how fashionable it is to hate Dubya among the elitists in the U.S. Well, absolutely everyone over here is an elitist.

You pay taxes over here in ways you can't even imagine, all to cover the smothering social systems and the army of "Beamters", the civil servants that cannot be fired no matter how bad the economy is, or how badly they do their job, and always, always get a raise.

All in all, the power in the hands of a European consumer amount to about 10% of his income, or even less. You pay about 40% income tax. Then social security is another 10%. Then (in my case) 300 more (~9%) for the highly vaunted health insurance. So, before you've even gotten your money, 60% of it's gone.

Then, there's the outrageous 16% value-added tax that's slapped onto every transaction. 78%. another 15% or so for rent and utilities. Before you know it, you've got about 7% of your money with which to define how you're going to live.

For groceries, entertainment, gasoline, car payments, car insurance, clothing, beer, cigarettes, pot, and all the other things that define you as a person you can devote about 7% of your money. This is the money that keeps the small businessman afloat, and encourages entrepeneurship and, to a certain degree, innovation. This is your "luxury" spending, which unfortunately includes all the things that are actually necessities.

The rest you leave up to his Highness the King. That's what allows the Europeans to be driven down like they are. They have a form of trust with their governments that is totally alien to an American. To us, the government are the sneaky bastards who are trying with all their might to steal our money and spend it on drugs and hookers and paying the cops to keep us from doing it. Over here, the government is your friend.

A german jury, for example, isn't made up of randomly-chosen citizens. If you are accused of a crime, you're tried by professional, state-employed jurors. Would Americans ever trust the government enough to let them do that?

I guess Euros are still the monarchists at heart. Heck, half the countries over here are quite literally still monarchies. Don't get me wrong: I like it over here, once you get past politics. It's just that in the past year or so, there isn't much to talk about except for politics.

Sigh.

Blah. Dead horse. You think Islam is a religion of peace and love? Just ask Salman Rushdie.

You think Christianity is a religion of peace and love? Just ask about a million people tortured to death in Europe by the spanish, or a billion altar-boys shown that special brand of love.

You think Buddhism or Hinduism is about peace and love? Take a look at southeast Asia at the moment.

You think Judaism is about peace and love? Don't even need anecdotes; just read the Old Testament, keyword "Gomorrah".

To priests and imams, rabbis and reverends: Stop fucking up the world, you perverts. The message is wearing thin.

Why is it that all the guys have the same god, but the fight is about whose ad agency he's going to hire?

God I hate you guys.

I've noticed that over the years, the hatred of the president has gotten worse. Maybe it's just because I pay attention now, or maybe because I kinda like Dubya, but it seems like the hatred is getting ever more intense. Towards the end of Clinton's period, people were really ripping him a new butt each and every day. But the defenders were just kind of, oh yeah, whatever, kind of like they are with Bush. The hatred that Bush is getting is just out-of-hand, if you ask me. I mean, the guy is president of the USA after all; you would think he would get some props somewhere.

It's snowing. I can't believe it. It's April 10th, and it's snowing.

Most americans underestimate how far north Europe is. We picture it as being about level with the US, as far as latitude is concerned. Not true. Europe is more level with Canada than the US. Dusseldorf, for example, is on the same latitude as Calgary.
Of course, distance from equator is not the end-all, be-all of saying it's freakin' cold somewhere. Nevertheless, it is indeed freakin' cold here.

It snowed. Last year it snowed on Easter Sunday, which was something like April 19th. I hated it.

Here's a thought:

We all saw the performance by the Iraqi Information Minister this morning. To me, he looked a little scared. Could it be that Saddam's still alive (he hasn't updated his blog in a day or two), and he's being kept in the dark by the InfoMin? Think about it: Why would you even try just now to convince a bunch of reporters that the obvious isn't true, much less try so hard. He's either blown a fuse, or he's doing it because Saddam's watching, and needs to think that the War's going well.

Damn, if he wants to think that he's winning the war, he should just read the New York Times.

the command-post says the Iraqis have some still-operational pre-Desert Storm German/French ROLANDs.

Hmm...now I wonder where they got them from?

The upcoming General Assembly gives us the chance to reinvigorate that common purpose and refine the UNs ability to meet the challenges of a changed world. President Bush, Secretary Powell and the U.S. Mission to the UN are committed to making this years General Assembly a success, and we look forward to working with your government to that end. I would like to take this opportunity to outline for you our principal goals for this session.

That was the U.S. Delegation's opening for their "goals and intentions" brief to the United Nations last year.

Good call, kids. I've provided some highlights.

Re-energizing international counter-terrorism efforts

Keeping UN discussion of the Middle East constructive, not divisive

Supporting the New Partnership for development, especially with Africa

Working for a more efficient and effective UN Now this actually looks interesting

We look forward to the Secretary-Generals UN reform plan, which we hope will help make the UN leaner and more effective. During consideration of the revised 2002-3 UN budget, as well as the outline for the 2004-5 biennium, we will continue to stress the need for budget discipline. The budget will need to include a clear order of priorities, and identify programs and activities for elimination. Our goal is not cost cutting for cost-cuttings sake, but to direct UN resources away from obsolete, inefficient programs towards higher priorities.

Promoting human rights and democracy

We hope you will join us in seeking strong, accurate human rights resolutions on Iraq, Iran, Sudan, Cambodia, and Burma. We will also seek to co-sponsor resolutions promoting democracy, the rights of women, children, religious minorities, and other issues.

Other Issues

At this years General Assembly, the Sixth Committee will consider a proposal to ban human reproductive cloning. We do not think this goes far enough and would favor a complete ban on human cloning for any purpose. We hope that you will join us in calling for a total ban.

Sincerely,

John D. Negroponte

Recently, I've been trawling forums over here to get a handle on the German perspective on the war in Iraq. I've never physically met a German who supports the United States in Gulf War II, and that certainly isn't much different in the online world, either. Germans are not pacifists, as their image projects. For example, they have absoluttely nothing to say about the French colonialist intrusion the Ivory Coast. Nor are they particularly harsh in their criticism of China over Tibet. They strongly believed in the Bosnia/Kosovo intercessions. So what is it about the US/Iraq issue? Well, here's a few choice words from our "buddies", the germans. Read the bad news

When is it a war?

Huge explosions in the center of this fabled city, in its biggest market; American planes roar overhead; body parts litter the streets. Thousands of innocents die, and a nation seems on the verge of tearing itself apart with grief and rage. It's seeing itself as the innocent victim of an unprovoked war of aggression, racism, and hatred. Calls for revenge ring out among the nation's citizens, the press, the leaders.

Huge explosions in the center of this fabled city, in its biggest market; American planes roar overhead; body parts litter the streets. Thousands of innocents die, and a nation seems on the verge of tearing itself apart with grief and rage. It's seeing itself as the innocent victim of an unprovoked war of aggression, racism, and hatred. Calls for revenge ring out among the nation's citizens, the press, the leaders.

The world community is shocked by the barbarity of the attack, the total lack of justification, the loss of so many innocent lives at the whim of just one man. A few governments around the world support the brutal attack, in spite of the overall opinion of their populations, hungry for a slice of the power and respect its perpetrator commands.

United States, September, 2001. And you don't call that war?

There are four horsemen of the Apocalypse: Famine, War, Pestilence, and Jim. Three of these four are already gaining steam, with War in Iraq, Pestilence in southeast Asia, and Jim Burton in Evansville, Indiana. We have only to fear where a famine will pop up! Then, friends and neighbors, is the Apocalypse upon us!

But on War news, the Anti-war/Anti-american/Anti-Bush crowd is losing steam, and I say good riddance. Peace is all fine and dandy, and definitely what you want in Your Neighborhood, unless, of course, your neighborhood is downtown Basra. One thing you don't hear mentioned in the media, for example, are peace protests in Iraq. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's just not as good for news people as unsubstantiated reports of American Missiles hitting markets in Baghdad. Now that's good news. I just wish there were as many people who were critical of the United Nations' failure to defuse this situation as there were of the United States' failure to win over the Security [sic] Council.

A little history lesson for ya, as if I were the expert on the subject. (Hey, my URL, my forum)

When was the last time, I ask, that the United Nations did anybody any good?

Gulf War? Sorry, not a UN action. That was a coalition led by the US acting on a resolution by the Security Council (sound familiar?)

Bosnia? Buzz, wrong answer. The UN botched that one. NATO had to come in and save the day, led by...guess who! (The US, that's right!)

Somalia? Well, (a) that was indeed a UN-undertaking, from start to finish. And (b) They fucked that one up so badly, that most people still think it was a "unilateral" American operation, because no UN official wanted to mention it after 1997.

Rwanda? Ahh, Rwanda. Rwanda has a long and distinguished history in African culture. Unfortunately, African culture ended about the time the White People from Europe moved in and declared the people to be savages, and sold half the continent into slavery. The U.N. did nothing to stop the genocide in Rwanda during the 1990s. Nothing. There's no oil in Rwanda, so there's no reason to pay any attention. They sat there and watched as thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of members of the warring tribes systematically wiped out their ethnically-chosen rivals.

Afghanistan? Well, Afghanistan was all Anglo-American. It was right. It was exactly as illegal or legal as Iraq, but nobody said anything bad about it. Why? Cause there ain't no oil in Afghanistan. Plus, the Russians hate Afghanistan, for obvious reasons.

Ivory Coast? Ivory Coast? What's that? Well, the Ivory Coast is a former french colony, that had themselves a little revolution about 5 years ago. Last year, the french sent in the troops to effect a regime change, i.e. to install a french-friendly government instead of the local-yokels. And, if I might mention it, they had little or (actually) no UN support for their actions. Just for a little side information, this is colonialism. This is imperialism. This a left-over of Europe's bloodthirsty colonial period. Think about that next time you hear anything about American Arrogance and Imperialism.

I'm gonna make an online quiz out of these questions, I tell ya.

You see, there's a big discrepancy in all this: Nobody argues when it's the U.N., and the U.N. don't care unless it's white people. Why has the U.N. never condemned Israel? Because they don't kill whitey. Why don't the U.N. committees condemn Palestine? Well, actually because Palestine isn't and never has been it's own country.

I'm no lawyer, but I've taken a little time to see what the other side is talking about these days, and to figure out for myself whether or not what the Americans and British and Australians and Italians and Spanish and Danish and Dutch are doing is illegal. I think it's documented enough that there are 16 resolutions from the U.N. Security Council that authorize military force against Saddam if he doesn't allow U.N. weapons inspectors to oversee the destruction of weapons*. That alone is enough to "legally" prosecute a war. But sometimes you need overwhelming reasons. Technically, and, dare I say, morally, the U.N. is required to prosecute Saddam under the 1948 Genocide Articles. You see, the segregation, and attempted genocide of the north-Iraq Kurds in 1988 is a crime against the U.N. Genocide Conventions. And those conventions state, under no uncertain terms, that perpetrators of genocide are to be dealt with by member states as criminals, and apprehended. That's not a justification for the War at all. It also isn't meant to be. It's meant to be yet another example of why the current structure of the U.N. does not work.

But, enough about that. It's boring. Like I said, shooting down antiwar sentiment is like shooting ducks in a barrel these days. I'm not really pro-war, but I really see absolutely no problem with going into Iraq and ousting Hussein.

In other news, the french surrendered to the Ivory Republic today.

[*] A common misconception is that the U.N. inspectors were there to find weapons of mass destruction. Actually, that's not the case at all. The existence of the weapons was already documented and acknowledged by the Iraqi regime. The resolutions call for the supervised destruction of the weapons, which are assumed by the U.N. to exist.

I was surprised at my reaction today, as I read about the start of the much-awaited, much discussed military action against Iraq. I was a little saddened to think that the option of military pressure instead of military action hadn't worked. With our demands of the unconditional departure of Hussein from power, it may have been a little overoptimistic to think that he wouldn't sacrifice his people for power. He will.

Yes, we will win. Yes, we will kill Hussein, or take him prisoner, like Milosevic. Yes, he will rot in a cell for war crimes, including the worst gas attacks since World War I, if he survives. And yes, his people will eventually betray them. Already, they are preparing themselves to become hostages. It's certainly not beyond Saddam to begin gassing his own people in order to extort the US into stopping their attacks. And yes, we will take the heat for that, too.

The relationships with Europe and Asia are being destroyed. The toppling of Hussein's Iraq is a valid action on the part of the US, and should have been carried out by the UN 5 to 10 years ago. The true way here is that our allies support us, as we have supported them for over 50 years. There is absolutely no reason for the Europeans to ally themselves with Iraq as they have done, except to express latent anti-American sentiments that have been festering for years, probably since the Revolutionary War.

It is absolutely clear that the UN has failed here in their envisioned role as world police. They have been ineffectual and amazingly weak-handed in their dealings with Iraq. It's all too clear now that those villains against whom the UN was charged to protect the world, are laughing themselves to tears. Resolutions, meetings, and condemnations mean absolutely nothing unless the UN is prepared to back them up with force. That's called strategic deterrence, and it must first be believed to be effective. That is what we are doing in Iraq: We are doing the UN's job for them.

It's time to reconsider whether we will stay in the UN, and in Nato. I'm pretty convinced that Europe needs to busy itself with its own defence, if it's not prepared to help other people with theirs.

I will say one thing more: If the US pulls out of Europe, I'm getting the fuck out of here. There's a nice little bridge between the mideast and Europe, and there's a mole inside the fence. Arc de Capitulation, indeed.