Oh, them silly pranksters at PETA.

PETA, the People for the Abusive Treatment of Little Children in Deference to Chickens, has a plan this year. It's not been enough to throw red paint on innocent people, or set minks free that in turn terrorized local fauna and created an environmental disaster.

Now, PETA is going after people's children. The plan for this holiday season is to stand outside of performances of the Nutcracker Suite, dressed up as cuddly animals. They'll wait for women to show up wearing fur coats, then they give the Your Mommy Kills Animals! comic to the ladies' kids.

What's inside such a comic book? Glad you asked:

Keep your doggie or kitty friends away from mommy--she's an animal killer!

Does anybody find this kind of shit funny? All this will accomplish is that a few PETA representatives will, quite rightly, get the ever-loving shit beat out of them. It almost makes me ashamed to be a vegetarian.

On the brighter side, I'm starting my own photoshop contest! You can download the blanks of this comic here:

Illustrator & EPS Versions (270KB)

(via A Small Victory)

Entry 1:

Y'know, you try to do something nice, and people just walk all over you. The latest wenis to join the moonbat brigade is Jörg Haidler, whoever that is. He tells his constituency (seen right), that he "doubts the veracity" of the Saddam arrest. Why would that be? Could it be because he's Saddam's old buddy, just like Chirac?

Hmmm...nice picture. I'm starting to sweat a little here. It seems that not only has the United States lost the support of the Communists, now we've upset the Nazis as well.

I just passed 10,000 visits for the first time last night.

How 'bout a round on me!

With apologies to Steve H.

Hussein's been taken, and it's time for him to clear the air about a few things. Where them weapons? What's the deal with Al Qaeda? How in the world does a man grow a foot-long beard in just 6 months?

Interestingly, I was watching the news here in Germany tonight. I hardly ever watch television news, since it's about 5 minutes of real news, then blah blah blah blah blah for 25 minutes. I was amazed at the difference between the story you get on the Internet, and the bullshit that the talking head on television was spewing. Here's an admittedly rough quote:

Saddam Hussein was responsible for the deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqis over the course of his presidency...Although the Americans and British went to war over Hussein's links to Al Qaeda and Weapons of Mass Destruction, neither of these allegations have proven true.

That's bullshit. Absolute bullshit. First off, it was hundreds of thousands, you twit. Don't whitewash Saddam Hussein, of all people. Secondly, take a look at this story at the Telegraph from Friday:

Iraq's coalition government claims that it has uncovered documentary proof that Mohammed Atta, the al-Qaeda mastermind of the September 11 attacks against the US, was trained in Baghdad by Abu Nidal, the notorious Palestinian terrorist.

What will have to happen before the news anchors start telling the truth? What does it take to quash this meme? There's also the unkillable meme that, "70% of Americans believed Saddam Hussein was directly involved in the 9/11 attacks." This is usually cited in order to discredit American public opinion polls. The premise, you see, is that the American public is so uninformed and gullible, they believe that Hussein was in cahoots with Al Qaeda. Well, as it turns out, he was. With Hussein in hand, we should find those weapons as soon as possible. If it turns out there were no weapons, and the Iraq War was all about the ooooiil, impeach Bush, convict him, and put him before the ICC. I have no problem with that. If the weapons are found in the next few days, Saddam details his links to Al Qaeda, and even points us the way to Osama bin Laden, then millions of Europeans will simply forget that Saddam ever existed, and will continue to spout the lies they so desperately want to believe.

Ok, on the one hand, I'm sad. Sad, because I really wanted this blog name. On the other hand, I'm happy. Happy, because I randomly stumbled onto that piece of blogdom which had been missing in my life.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

The Porn Blog

On the third hand, however, I'm very confused. Confused, because it seems that every domain name I want to register is already, in some other sphere, a well-known porno site. I submit to you xoffender.com and youbitch.com, neither of which are safe for work, yet both of which are easily confused with my own, independently-registered non-porn domains xoffender.de and youbitch.org.

The question is, of course, whether this is just some sort of perverts' zeitgeist, or if, indeed, the highest order of probability in the Internet belongs to porn. What's the most common sort of webpage? Porn. What's the most common sort of email? Porn Spam. What comprises well over 75% of my browser cache? Stock Quotes. Ok, ok, it's porn. I feel myself to be a pawn, nay, a victim of statistics.

I'm at a loss.

Whew! This is a nice thing. I just donated 30,000 of my Delta Skymiles, since I always forget to use them anyway. Hopefully, some poor little old mother will get to see her soldier-boy or -girl for Christmas, just because that anonymous guy in Germany was nice enough to empty his sky-miles account for them.

I've got warm fuzzies now.

I dare you to make this your wallpaper.

I double-dog dare ya.

Russia To Give Kyoto Thumbs Down from Wired

The Kyoto Protocol is, according to many, a cynical attempt by the Europeans to slow down the rest of the world until it can catch back up. It's an economic handbrake for anybody who signs it, providing they actually produce anything. At any rate, it's irrelevant, as global warming itself has been thoroughly discredited as the alarmist Green political card that it is.

Just in case any of you out there were wondering what to get Rube for Christmas, let me ease your dilemma. What a sexy little bitch that is.

Of the three cartoons below, which were all published this year, one has been re-printed by the leftist press as a harmless bit of humor, one has been derided as an outrageous bit of racism, and the other has been given a major award. Can you spot which is which?

Click images to the see full version

A

B

C

The answer?

Cartoon A, from un-funny toilet-humor cartoonist Johnny Hart, has been met with outrage by the muslim community in the United States. Why? Because apparently it's a hidden slur about Islam (notice the 'slam' sound effect; that's the offending part). B.C., the strip from which this particular cartoon comes, is an aging, occasionally humorous family strip about prehistoric life.

Cartoon B was downloaded from the horrendously anti-Semitic Indymedia network. Normally, I'd ignore hate sites, but Indymedia is a special case. First of all, they're indexed by Google News as a legitimate news page, and therefore have some amount of influence. Secondly, they're not a hate site, according to their charter. Instead, they're simply a Liberal-leaning news source. If that's liberal ideology, I'll stick to being a redneck anti-intellectual conservative. I'd rather be obligated to love money than hate Jews.

That brings us to C. This is a cartoon by Dave "Zyklon" Brown, a lefty political cartoonist in England. The Political Cartoon Society , whoever they are, gave Brown the Political Cartoon of the Year award for this. On its face, it's a rather melodramatic, unoriginal cartoon with about as much critical insight as a Nuremberg rally banner. It's not particularly well-drawn, nor is it stylistically compelling. All-in-all, just another Jew-hatin' cartoon. The real travesty of its acceptance, indeed its praise, is that it plays on a horrifying piece of Arab anti-Semitic folklore. You see, one of the hitleresque myths that Muslims spread about Jews, is that they use the blood of palestinian children to make ceremonial bread. (see also this article at memri.org).

Now, I know and (hopefully) you know Jews don't eat palestinian babies. Why would they? The problem is that this particular myth has power among arabs. They believe it the way Europeans believe the Jessica Lynch rescue was faked. They read it somewhere, it seemed believable, and they just integrated it into their long list of Why the Jew Must Go. Don't forget, muslims believe rays shoot out of the hairs of women, forcing men to rape them.

But these last two cartoons weren't drawn by Arabs. They were drawn by intellectuals and academics. The first was drawn by a christian, and therefore is automatically suspect.

President George W. Bush (news - web sites) carries a platter of turkey and fixings as he visits U.S. troops for Thanksgiving at Baghdad International Airport, November 27, 2003.

I hope everybody had a nice Thanksgiving. I force-fed my german friends with turkey, cornbread, mashed potatoes, green beans, and apple pie for dessert. It was god-damned beautiful. And I wish I wasn't a vegetarian sometimes, because there's some turkey sandwiches-in-the-making sitting in my kitchen right now.

Leftovers, anyone?

Spam Rage

An interesting story at Yahoo! News! Service!. It's not quite illegal yet to send spam. Well, ok, it is illegal, but it's not enforceable. There you have a situation where the government cannot take care of its citizens. The problem is, even though people are breaking the law, the consequences of the crime are insufficiently bad to warrant significant retaliation. In the end, it's just annoying, not dangerous. So, in comes the question, how do you keep yourself from being annoyed? One man has an answer:

Booher threatened to send a "package full of Anthrax spores" to the company, to "disable" an employee with a bullet and torture him with a power drill and ice pick; and to hunt down and castrate the employees unless they removed him from their e-mail list, prosecutors said.

There's a lesson here. It is, indeed, a free country (depending on where you live, of course), but it still isn't a good idea going around acting like a dick. Somebody, somewhere, is eventually going to take exception, no matter how much you whine and complain that what you're doing is legal. That's what the answer to any litigiously unsolvable problem is. You simply make the creation of the annoyance a) not worth the effort, or b) too dangerous. Maybe spammers will one day become the subject of personal retaliation, not litigation.

Contrary to appearances, just because a company produces devices to enhance the already-impressive penis, doesn't mean they send spam. The money quote:

[Albion Medical's Mackay] said his firm does not send spam but blamed a rival firm which he said routes much of their unsolicited bulk e-mail through Russia and eastern Europe. Mackay said such firms gave a bad name to the penis enhancement business.

(Links via Drudge)

Enlightened europeans look to geniuses like Michael Moore for moral guidance, and news from the colonies. Why? Michael Moore reinforces their stereotypes of americans and America in general. He's an obnoxious, fat loudmouth who drones on incessantly about things he really doesn't understand; he is an unscrupulous capitalist, lying, libelling, and slandering people who have actually made a stand for something in their lives, all the while raking in millions, and all the while playing the part of Working-Class Hero. And, he hates the US so much he can't stand it, scoring another point with the morally anchorless EU crowd.

He was actually in my home town here this week, and of course, the crowds were out in full force. I haven't seen any reports in the news of his appearance, but I can only imagine it was the usual lefty circle-jerk: America sucks, Bush is Hitler, we're all doomed, more pat&eacute?

Of course, it's a good feeling to sit around talking about how bad things are "over there". It lets you ignore just how bad it is where you live. People here would love to have our news programming! Ok, 450 hurt in a bombing in Turkey, but first, the Kobe Jackson Peterson Tapes! Here, they talk about crushing of dissent, and how Bush is ruling the United States with an iron fist, instead of the truly krank economy, or the utter hopelessness of the social welfare state.

Iron fist? How's this for size: In Italy, a comedy show has been cut because they criticized the italian president. In Germany, it's illegal to display a swastika, among other "Verbotene Symbole", even in art. In France, it's illegal to have too many advertisements or too much music in any language other than French. Perhaps in all of Europe, but at least in Germany, you're not tried by a jury of your peers, you're tried by a jury of government employees.

If you read through the U.S. Bill of Rights, there's precious little that you'll find in common with everyday european life. And yet, with that kind oppression, it's comforting to think of how very oppressive this cowboy Bush must be, closing down newspapers left and right, pulling critical television shows off the air, and silencing artists who speak out against him!

Could somebody send me some links for those? I'm at a loss.

Students camp out for poverty awareness - University of Wisconsin-Madison

This is just too good to be true.

I've often been accused of being a liberal. But that was in my college days, when I would make sweeping generalizations like, "Blacks are being oppressed", without thinking about the fact that many blacks like Desmond Tutu, Jesse Jackson, and Dizzy Gillespie could buy and sell my honky ass. But that's the cornerstone of liberalism: Make generalizations about demographics you know nothing about, reducing them to helpless, retarded, unwashed masses, offer them money, and let them know that you understand they can't help it they weren't born rich, good-looking, and white.

Look at the fuckers in this picture. This is a "camp-in for poverty awareness". Huh? Let's take a look at poverty awareness. What's the most important aspect of poverty? Is it camping? Is it being outdoors? Or is it not having money? Revolutionary, I know, but never let a spout of logic spoil your camp-in. "Awareness" isn't what you're engendering here. It should be called, "camp-in for poverty trivialization", or maybe, "Camp-in for trigonometry-studying avoidance". What would a bunch of rich little fuckers like these possibly understand about poverty? Oh, and let me guess: They all voted for Gore.

I accidentally came across this today while stumbling around Yahoo! News!.

There was a time, probably before Hellraiser came out, when she didn't know what she was getting into. She probably thought, "hey, I'll do something different and get my clit pierced." This woman has almost 2,000 piercings. I would really rather be blind than ever see her naked, even over the Internet.

What the hell did we go to war for, anyway? I now know that our whole operation in Iraq was a failure. It was started under false pretenses. The american public has been horribly, horribly misled.

I thought the whole point was, we go in, we kill us some towel-heads, and take all their oil! Well, where is it? I demand to know what Mr. Hit-, I mean Mr. Bush was thinking when he told us in all the secret meetings that, though we were telling the world it was about ending terrorism and freeing Iraq, it was really all about the oil. And now? Americans have fought and died, we've taken the country into our evil clutches, and IRAQIS ARE PAYING 10 CENTS A GALLON FOR GASOLINE? That's our gas they're pumping there!

Impeach Bush! Now!

Man, this is some fascinating stuff.

(found via InstaPundit)

I'm not a huge fan of Netscape products. About the only really sensible thing Netscape has done since they basically invented the Intel-based Web browser was to turn it over to the Open Source community.

Netscape web-servers, however, are big-iron beasts, and power a lot of the sites people have come to rely on, for example The New York Times, ,Washington Post, and L.A. Times, three of the United States' most import online news sources. And while their Novell Enterprise Webserver is strangely a pig, the Netware Internet Mail Server is about the best commercial mail server I've ever set up. It's complicated, but integrates beautifully with NDS and a client-side IMAP infrastructure.

So, tell me, was it the AOL thing that made Netscape jump the shark? Have they really replaced all their big brains with a bunch of tie-wearing suits who wouldn't know a web server from an accelerating cache-proxy? Check out this little tidbit of advice from the Netscape Mail help page:

Q. How do I back up messages?
A. The best way to back up your messages is to print them. That way, even if you have system problems, you still have access to your messages.

What? Did I read that correctly? Has it really gotten that bad? That's almost Microsoft-worthy, only Microsoft would probably say, "the best way to backup your email is to re-install Windows and then type them all again." As among thieves, there is a honor among geeks, so I won't even assume that an administrator at Netscape wrote that horrifying Q&A. Instead, it soothes me to think that it was some clueless knucklehead technical writer fresh out of the Dupree School of Management , probably the very same one who sat down next to me in the NeXT Lab that time and started talking into the mouse¹.

Even though I only use my Netscape Mail address when I register at porno sites, I still expect at least halfway-decent technical support. Everyone knows that the best way to back up emails is to read them aloud to your roommate.

tim say:

Cigarettes, whiskey and wild wild women
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane
Cigarettes, whiskey and wild wild women
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane

Once I was happy and had a good wife
I had enough money to last me for life
Then I met with a gal and we went on a spree
She taught me smokin' and drinkin' whiskee

The insignificant minority of muslims who actually endorse terrorism have struck again. Islamic terrorists have blown a sizeable chunk of Riyadh, Saudi Arabia to smithereens, along with bits and pieces of 130 people. Sadly, this is becoming so commonplace in today's world that I barely blinked when I saw the headline today. And I don't even check anymore to see if the people who did this were Presbyterians.

I'm sure that over the next few days we'll see an outpouring of shock and disbelief from the moderate muslim community. Shock and disbelief that, in the name of Islam, animals and criminals like this continue to commit crimes against innocent people. Shock, that they continue to besmirch the good name of Mohammed with their cowardly, heinous deeds.

Actually, that was a joke, and not even a funny one. What will happen over the next week is exactly what happens every time some slimeball terrorist with a Koran in his pocket boards a bus full of old ladies and children and detonates. Namely, "moderate" muslims will scramble to attack anyone who asserts that muslims are even capable of being terrorists, while secretly (and sometimes, not so secretly) celebrating in their hearts yet another effective, successful, and above all strategically intelligent strike against the West that will, certainly, freeze the blood in our veins and shake the ground beneath our feet. What they will not do, however, is speak out in any way against the acts of terrorism, or express sympathy for the Kufr who are killed or injured for no purpose other than eternal islamic Jihad.

Sleep tight.

I know it's not a thing that's particular to Europe, but there's just so much of the inneffectual, bureaucratic shit floating around at the moment.

At the moment? It's really been going on for years, now. I'm not sure if we've ever discussed this, but for the last 10 years or so, there's been a movement among the Germans called the "Neue Rechtschreibung", which basically translates to "The New Way to Write Correctly". Un-be-lievable what kind of energy went into this. They've basically effected changes in all the goofy, idiosyncratic areas of the German language. They've split up some of the longer words (and there are some damn long words) into their component parts, they've marginalized some of the special characters like , , and . Basically, what they've done is taken the language and cleaned up some of the messy legacy weirdness. Ok, it sounds good on paper. For about a second. That meant, of course, that everybody had to re-learn how to write and say many things. They also had to buy the new, updated dictionaries and grammar guides. There's the attendant infrastructure involved in getting 'the word' out, of course. All handed down from on-high by the Big Thinkers of the universites in Berlin, Cologne, and Aachen.

But nobody likes it. And why would this happen, anyway? Who really benefits from the simplification of the language? And who really has the power to decide how people should speak, read, or write? I talked a spell with a friend of mine about all this. She's finishing up her master's degree at the moment, and is therefore digging knuckle-deep in the nose of academia, whence this whole horseshit came. I've never been much of a populist, but the slumbering american frontiersman in me can't even grasp the chutzpah people show when they hand down edicts like this. Languages evolve over centuries, and the inefficient parts die quietly or survive due to their other qualities; aesthetic, humorous, or otherwise. She is more of a typical german from the hinterlands of Bavaria, and usually stares blankly at the university turtlenecks who try to explain how all this is good for "das Volk".

And that brings us to the Euro. It's no different from the Neue Rechtschreibung in my book. It was just something they decided on one day in a glass palace somewhere, and really never took a vote on it. The few countries that relied on referenda to decide whether or not to get their Euro on have all voted no; see Sweden and Great Britain. I read an article in Der Spiegel today that blew my thick, white, cottony, american socks off. The headline was, "Germans are Sitting on D-Mark Coins worth over 3.8 Billion Euros", in reference to the billions of coins people still have in jelly jars, old jackets, and automobile ash-trays. Coins that are now worthless. Personally, I have at least 20 or 30 bucks worth of coins and bills that turned up during the first year of the Euro, and I've only been here a few years. I can't even imagine what my coin-collection would look like if I'd been here my whole life.

So, the article goes on to say that this delinquent coinage represents about half the coins that were in circulation when the Euro went into effect. Half...the...coins. I have absolutely no idea how much of a nation's economy is represented by the coins in circulation. It may be absolutely trivial in contrast to the wealth collected in bank accounts, credit cards, and folding money. But still, that's about 4 Billion dollars that were simply invented by burdening the people of Germany with a currency reformat. Germany may have the second-largest economy in Europe, but it has the most fastidious population, as well as the most miserly. I can't even imagine how much money went missing in the other, more loosy-goosy Euristans. I guess it's one way to revalue your currency: declare a big chunk of it as invalid.

But what the hell am I going on about?

jimmy say:

I met a little girl in Knoxville A town we all know well And every Sunday evening Out in her home I'd dwell

We went to take an evening walk About a mile from town I picked a stick up off the ground And knocked that fair girl down

She fell down on her bended knees For mercy she did cry Oh Willie Dear don't kill me here I'm not prepared to die

She never spoke another word I only beat her more Until the ground around me With her blood did flow

I took her by her golden curls And dragged her round and round Throwing her into the river That flows through Knoxville Town

Perry say:

all the guys that really have the money are too old to have a good time with it too old to turn the women on too old to have a fast car and drive it all the guys that really have the money are too old to party or get dirty too old to turn the women on too old to have a fast car and drive it

Here, you can see my wonderful Windows 3.1 desktop, running under Redhat linux. For some reason, I can't get Syndicate to run. I mean, the real reason behind VMWare was to port Syndicate to Linux, wa'n't?

Sex is a strange, strange thing. I don't have sex with people I don't trust. That causes the problem, however, that I'll trust people quicker if I want to sleep with them.

It takes a fair amount of courage to show someone your penis under the best of circumstances. It's even more complicated if you plan on using it on them. It's not like I'm worried about size or anything, just in case you run a spam company. It's more about acceptance. I mean, you whip it out, you expect at the very least that the other person in the room will have some sort of reaction to give you. Fear is the ideal reaction, girls. Well, reserve, anyway.

I've had some good sex in my long life. I think the best sex I ever had was when Dale, who you can see here (2nd picture), came back one night. She came back with what was (in retrospect obviously) one thing in mind: Saturday night, time to get laid. Damn. Anyway, I never stood a chance. I think I was 20. This needs a little background, I think. We had been going out for 3 years. Then, out of the blue (and, dare I mention, during finals), she broke up with me. Two months later, she comes back, and wants to make good. Ok, "make good" turns out to be going to a couple of frat parties, getting good 'n' toasted, and taking me back to my dorm room and fucking my brains out. But, lemme tell ya, if your ex-girlfriend shows up after a couple of months of being broke up, she will have a couple of new tricks up her sleeve. I think she wanted to show off, I really do. She did shit to me most swedes wouldn't do to a farm animal. Ok, when you're a 20 year old guy, you accept it. Damn. The trick is, of course, not to think about where she learned these tricks, or how she managed to learn them so quickly... Sex is strange. It's not the physical act of licking mucous membranes and pluggin' holes that makes it good. It's the relaxation and trust that it takes to do those things, to generate the context that makes it seem like a normal thing to do. It sure is a shame when people take that and use it for their own evil purposes.

There's not much better than nostalgia. I live in the past, sometimes. Not in the "Glory Days" high-school movie past, like some people. I live more in the recent past. (Side note: High School just isn't recent enough for me, owing to my advanced years).

I just heard a song on Internet Radio. I'm listening to a SomaFM country station. It's a bit different from your normal country, I tell ya. In fact, I just distinctly heard the guitar lick from "Feel a Whole Lot Better" (Byrds) ruthlessly embedded in a Psychobilly song.

Back to nostalgia. People in my past are almost uniformly psychos. I'm perfectly normal, of course. The last crazy thing I did, which was driving my Golf into a fountain while blitz-drunk on Costa Rican rum, pretty much cured me of the whole "Gotta be crazy to enjoy life" frame of thinking. Since then, I've pretty much just used my friends, all of whom are raving moonbats, to live my craziness out for me and, on a per-case basis, take the rap.

Honestly, I have absolutely no desire whatever to be crazy. I once wrote the following paragraph to a prospective girlfriend:

When I was younger, a girl left me who I really liked. It didn't hurt at all. She was there one day, and then she was gone the next. That simple. She was beautiful, rich. She had long brown hair and light blue eyes. She was intelligent, too. I took a box-cutter and slashed my forearms to ribbons one day, blood everywhere. The old saying: If you can feel pain, you can still feel. I had to wear long sleeves for two months. Unfortunately, it was May, a hot month in atlanta to be moving around in long sleeves. Didn't fool anybody though; they'd seen it. A friend of mine called it, 6 years later, my "ritual scarification period". I still have a couple of pretty good scars from that.

The strange thing was, I was screaming-meemies drunk when I wrote that. I mean, it's absolutely true, but I totally forgot that I'd written it. About a year later, the recipient mentioned off-hand that she'd noticed I had scars on my arm, and sorta played dumb about where they were from. Weird.

Anyways, if you go to this page, the particular babe who inspired this act of self-mutilation is the first picture. A doll, no?

This brings us to the present, I guess. And not in too particular straight of a line. I remember back in '99, when I was home for the first time after a 2-year stint on the road. I'd moved to Europe in 1997, and travelled through the south Pacific and southeast Asia, and finally come home. I was tired. Very tired. But there was one night, I was in bed, looking up at a map of the world. I was so happy just to be home. It was August, and hot hot hot. There were big spiders everywhere and mosquitoes outside. I was smoking a cigarette and staring at the map of Germany, of central Europe. I wanted to cry. What was it that had taken me there, and then to Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Indonesia of all places? And why had it brought me home, only to be unhappy? I wanted the old times back. Either the old times at home, or the old times in Europe, or Australia. Anytime but now.

Why? Because it's not real. Real sucks. Real means work. But real is the gateway to the future. My future is bright, I figure. Ok, I don't figure it is, but I have to use that as my starting point, or I might as well start drinking myself to death right now. Maybe I should stop listening to all this country music...

Women. I love women. I love the way they smell. I love the way they look. I love the way the feel when you curl up with one and go to sleep. I'm a leg-man, in case you're interested. Actually, I'm a nape-man, but most women have good napes. At some point, you have to make a stand and cut down the selection.

Women are beautiful. I don't mean the whole "life-bearing", "nurturing" beautiful thing. I mean legs, asses, napes, and tits beautiful. There really is nothing like dancing with a girl who knows how to shake that thang. The problem is, if you let anyone get under your skin, especially a woman, you're fucked. And not in a good way. They suck everything out of you. Your energy, your happiness, your independence, your freedom, your VERY SOUL. So, no matter how good it feels when they're sucking that dick, or how cool it is when they grab your head and you're eatin' that pussy, screamin' your name in some foreign language, you have to realize they're saving it all up to stab you in the back with later. Every disgusting, depraved, kinky act that you commit upon that poor woman will eventually show up on an internet page. Much like the film you made of it with the "defunct" digital camera sitting on the dresser, heh.

People are evil, and women are no exception. In fact, if any of the world's religions are to be believed, they're actually the inspiration.